Posted by Ronnie Landolfi (204.114.255.2) on July 27, 2000 at 12:59:55:
In Reply to: PLease help me posted by Justine on January 26, 2000 at 22:57:56:
I hate to say this, but I'm 55 and I still have a problem sleeping anywhere other than my own bed. And, yes, when I was a kid I did not sleep until both my parents were home even if I was in my own bed; but when I got older and got my own apartment, I found I didn't sleep until my husband was home, and then after he was long gone, I found I did not sleep until the kids were home and in bed. Even though they're older now, my 20 year old moved back in with me, I don't sleep until his lights are out! The house has to be secured. Everyone who's supposed to be home should be home and IN BED with their lights out before I could relax enough to sleep.
I've seen the doctor. They've given me things to try but they left me feeling drugged. Then I tried Valerian Root. It worked great the first two nights then I started having terrible nightmares, so I dropped it. I eventually tried Melatonin but found the same thing happened after a few nights. The third or fourth night I get jumpy and can't sleep at all, then I get so tired I could sleep a whole day away. I've definitely got some kind of a sleeping disorder, and what I'm basically telling you is most of it is probably in our minds. Whatever bad habits you've got now, TAKE CARE OF THEM, because they only get worse when you get older. It won't be the lack of your mother in the house keeping you from sleeping, it will be something else. Believe me, if you have a problem, it will just be transferred to something else.
To make it even stranger...I could sleep on the couch on a Saturday afternoon with dogs barking, the T.V. on, cars driving by the house, because I get so tired, but God-forbid I should go to my bed at night and even hear so much as a pin drop! If I hear a dog bark a mile away, or my son gets up to go to the bathroom, or someone slams a car door...I'm up...and it takes awhile to get back to sleep, or even if I have a crinkled sheet, it'll drive me nuts until I get up and remake my whole bed. Which is so funny, because when I take naps during the day, I usually still have my shoes and socks on, I hang my feet over the end of the couch, I could be working in the yard, so I'm not even clean, I could be sweaty, and it's not even dark out. But if there's so much as a piece of sand in my bed, I'll feel it and I won't be able to sleep. I don't even try to sleep over my sister's house anymore. She used to invite us over for Christmas. We'd get there early Christmas Eve, hang out, go to bed, hang out the next day, but I'd be so tired from not sleeping the night before because every little sound bothered me. She had fish tanks gurgling in the background, various and assorted cuckoo clocks going off at different times, she found it soothing, I found it to be just another reason not to sleep. I also have extremely sensitive ears. I don't have great eyes, but if a mosquito farts in the next room...I hear it. So, take this information and get a good laugh, because it has to be funny to someone else reading it, and it is funny, but while you're young, find out what's wrong and take care of it. Bad habits are hard to break. I'm no doctor, but I would guess you're a very smart person who has a lot on her mind. And I would guess that you think too much. Am I close? It's easy for me to say, but you have to find a way to relax and tune out everything around you, even when your mom's not there. I'm very smart and I think entirely too much and my mind is always active, and I've been called hyperactive, or in the old days my mother used to say I had "Saint Vidus Dance". Many people who can't sleep turn to chemicals, alcohol, and other drugs...DON'T DO THAT, EVER! You just need to relax...it may be physical relaxation or mental relaxation. A hot bath or shower usually makes me sleepy, a long walk also works. But these things aren't always feasible. It's up to you, but you definitely need to change your sleeping patterns now and find a way to relax that's not harmful. If you were older I'd say try sleeping on a firmer mattress, but I doubt that you have back problems, and like you said, it's only when your mom's not home, so you do sound a lot like me. Too many outside stimulations. But they don't get better, they get worse, trust me, as you get older. I just can't close my eyes and shut things out. Good luck. I feel for you because I know what I go through, and I hope you find the answer for yourself, soon.
If you feel like it, let me know how you make out, or just to talk some more. One more thing, if you could picture this, when I was in college I learned to take catnaps between classes. I actually could put my head down on a pile of books, in the hallways with people going by, guitars going, people bumping into the back of my chair, etc., I was aware of everything that was going on, but I was able to refresh myself with those naps before my next class. I even learned to sit on a lounge chair in the ladies room, or even on the toilet seat, and put my head against the wall at work to get a catnap in...because I get so tired 'cause I can't sleep at night. I know I sound like a comedian, but this is serious stuff. When you start driving you'll realize just how important it is not to let yourself be tired during the day. So, good luck, if you find out anything, let ME know, or just keep in touch. Ronnie - a fellow insomniac.