Okay, we'll try it in sections. This is part 1

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Posted by Carl D ( on August 01, 2000 at 07:35:22:

After pouring my heart out in a post last week, and then finding out that several hours of work went to feed the 'cyber-mistress', I have attempted to recreate that post, albeit in a slightly more abused state of mind.

Hello, I am not your average clusterhead. My first cluster occured at the age of 17. At first it was not so bad: it actually felt like a piece of ice resting on my eyeball in an attempt to freeze it. It hurt, but I was from a world where hurt meant nothing. I was raised in an abusive environment where pain was part of survival. With my temperament of pain, I should have been dead already. The clusters had not yet fully revealed themselves. At the age of 18, they got progresively worse, at which point my father even took notice as to the pain I was going through. This was an oddity, as my father and I never saw eye to eye. Yet he was geniunely concerned (which makes me question if my father, the Macho John Wayne type, had ever had these. If he did, he mentioned it to no one. All from a

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