Posted by Kathi (220.127.116.11) on August 20, 2000 at 06:37:17:
I was going to log on this morning and vent some more.
Then, I read through some posts, like Barbaras, and felt ashamed of myself. I have the luxury of dealing with my pain in an idyllic circumstance. I live in a house by a lake with my boyfriend. (Are they still called "boyfriends" when your 39???) We have a beautiful dock that looks over the lake, very tranquil and calming. Neil is very supportive and has really came through for me during "our" first episode. My soon to be ex has been taking my daughter for me very often lately because he knows how I am when I'm in one of these things. And when my daughter is here with me, she is now old enough to REALLY help me and can amuse herself...not like you poor souls who have infants and small children. I've spoken to many of you who are taking care of sick loved ones, grappling with your own medical problems (other than CH) and a few who are dealing with very ill children.
I guess what I'm trying to say is...witnessing the bravery I see every day on this board helps me immensely. I have my own crap going on in my life but in the big picture...it pales by comparison. Some of you are heros and if it helps at all...I think of you all.
PS This may be the ramblings of an insane person...three weeks of no sleep is to blame...but it's really too bad we are all separated by time and distance. It occured to me last night that I could really come in handy to a fellow CH sufferer. If any of you were nearby and had a baby...I'm up every two hours anyway. I could be useful doing feedings and diapers in between clusters!!
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