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Posted by August ( on August 20, 2000 at 21:02:04:

I don't know what this is. I guess you can call it a prayer. I've been gone for a while. Sick, fighting these stupid f@cking 10's, that I thought were over. Over for this week. They were supposed to be. I guess that's the way this cluster game is played. Keep them always guessing. When they're at their worst, hit them the hardest. It's a joke that only nature understands.

Anyway...I thought i'd share it. Don't try to understand it. I just hope this prayer is heard.

What dignity is there curled on the floor,
crying to nothing I can't take anymore?
My cries never heard
pain un-observed,
alone in this void,
this darkness,
this hole.
What is it for?
This joke,
this test,
this experiment in pain?
I scream in my head
I wish I was....
It never ends,
it never quits,
it sheds me to tears,
it grinds me to dust.
Yet I keep breathing.
my heart keeps beating.
Nature is merciless.
God is blind.
My Goddess is deaf.
She hears nothing.
The dust that I am.
Please hear me!!
Please see me!!
No more!!!!
I can't take anymore!!!
What is it for?!

I want to live
I want to dream
I want to conquer
I want to believe.
What is it for?
What is it all f@cking for?
I crumple to the floor.
One hope then,
one prayer.
Give me one thing.
I'll take all their pain.
Let me breathe it in.
Let their be meaning.
Let this be what it's for.

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