Good way to start the day after a bad night...

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Posted by Nancy ( on September 12, 2000 at 10:41:27:

Billy was excited about his first day at school. So excited in fact, that only a few minutes after class started, he realized that he desperately needed to go to the bathroom.

So, Billy raised his hand politely to ask if he could be excused.
Of course, the teacher said yes, but asked Billy to be quick.

Five minutes later Billy returned, looking more desperate and embarrassed. "I can't find it," he admitted.

The teacher sat Billy down and drew him a little diagram to where he should go and asked him if he will be able to find it now.
Billy looked at the diagram, said "yes" and goes on his way.

Well five minutes later he returned to the class room and says to the teacher, "I can't find it."

Frustrated, the teacher asked Tommy, a boy who has been at the school for awhile, to help him find the bathroom.

So, Tommy and Billy go together and five minutes later they both return and sit down at their seats. The teacher asks Tommy,
"Well, did you find it?"

Tommy is quick with his reply, "Oh sure, he just had his boxer shorts on backwards."

The bear and the rabbit and the magic frog -

Once upon a time there was a frog who lived in a lake all by himself.
He had been given special powers by a local witch.
One day he finally ventured out of the lake to get his first glimpse of the world outside.

The first thing he saw was a bear chasing a rabbit and so he called out to them and asked them to stop. Then he said to them: "I am a magical frog and since you are the first two animals I have ever seen, I am going to grant you both three wishes. You will each take turns using them and you have to use them now."

The bear (being greedy) went first.
"I would like for every bear in this forest to be female except for me."

A magical sound and it was done.

Then the rabbit. "I would like a helmet."
This confused both the frog and the bear, but after a magical sound there was a helmet.

It was the bear's turn again. "I would like for every bear in the neighboring forest to be female."
A magical sound and it was done.

The rabbit went again. "I would like a motorcycle."

Both the frog and the bear wondered why the rabbit didn't just ask for a lot of money with which he could buy himself a motorcycle, but after a magical sound there was a motorcycle.

The bear took his last wish. "I would like for all the bears in the world to be female except for me."

A magical sound and it was done.

The rabbit then put on his helmet, started up the motorcycle, and said "I wish the bear was gay"
and took off like a bat out of hell.

And now for the local news:

A man was found murdered in his home over the weekend. Detectives at the scene found the man face down in his bathtub. The tub had been filled with milk and corn flakes, and the deceased had a banana protruding from
his buttocks.

Police suspect a cereal killer.

All people smile in the same language,

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