something to make you smile....

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Posted by Melissa ( on October 11, 2000 at 01:04:18:

Fun things to do at Walmart:

Get boxes of condoms & randomly put them in
peoples carts when they aren't looking.

Set all the alarm clocks to go off at 10 minute

Make a trail of lemonade on the floor to the
rest rooms.

Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an
official tone, "I think we have a code 3 in house wares," and see what happens.

Put M&M's on lay away.

Move "CAUTION WET FLOOR" signs to carpet areas.

Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them if they bring pillows from the bedding department.

When someone asks if they can help you, begin to
cry and ask "Why won't you people leave me alone?"

Look right into the security camera and use it as
a mirror while you pick your nose.

Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme
from "Mission Impossible".

In the auto department practice your Madonna
look using different size funnels.

Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse
through say, "PICK ME!
PICK ME!!!!!!"
Q: What did the elephant say to the naked man?
A: It's cute, but can it pick up peanuts?
Two cows are standing in a field, talking to each
other. One cow says, "Hey, aren't you worried
about getting that mad cow disease everyone is
talking about?" The other cow says, "Why should I? I'm a chicken."
A 75-year old man went to his doctor's office
to get a sperm count. The doctor gave the man
a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring me
back a sample tomorrow." The next day, the
75-year old man reappears at the doctor's office
and gives him the jar, which is as clean and
empty as on the previous day. The doctor asks
what happened, and the man explains, "Well, doc,
it's like this. First I tried with my right hand,
but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but
nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried
with her right hand, but nothing. Then her left,
but nothing. She even tried with her mouth, first
with the teeth in, then with the teeth out, and
still nothing. Hell, we even called up the lady
next door, and she tried with both hands and her
mouth too, but nothing." The doctor was shocked.
"You asked your NEIGHBOR?" The old man replied,
"Yep, but no matter what we tried, we couldn't get the damn jar open!"

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