Posted by Nancy (18.104.22.168) on October 25, 2000 at 20:13:33:
In Reply to: so thats why the chicken crossed the road! nt posted by stevevr on October 25, 2000 at 19:39:38:
Why did the chicken cross the road?
GEORGE W. BUSH
I don't think I should have to answer that question.
I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the chicken crossed the road to bring together these two different functions of
government in a new, reinvented way to bring greater services to the American people.
The chicken's habitat on the far side of the road had been polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it
was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.
I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet someone out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this! How much more of this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid
for by their tax dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about> your money, money the government took from you to build roads for chickens to cross.
The chicken devised a plan for crossing the road and then had the strength to make that plan work. I think we should respect it for that.
What business is it of yours why the chicken crossed the road?
The chicken had every right to cross the road, more right than your have, since the chicken never murdered or enslaved an animal for
its own pleasure.
To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.
If the chicken crossed the road on my property, I would be fully justified in blocking its exit until the local authorities could arrive to
arrest it for trespassing. I am a private person and should not have to be subjected to the "innocent mistakes" of common chickens.
Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side."That's what "they" call it the "other side." Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out
this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side." That chicken should not be
free to cross the road. It's as plain and simple as that.
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told!
To die. In the rain.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
It was a historical inevitability.
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
I intend to prove that the chicken crossed the road at the behest of the President of the United States of America in an effort to distract law enforcement officials and the American public from the criminal wrongdoing our highest elected official has been trying to cover up. As a result, the chicken is just another pawn in the
president's ongoing and elaborate scheme to obstruct justice and undermine the rule of law. For that reason, my staff intends to offer
the chicken unconditional immunity provided he cooperates fully with our investigation. Furthermore, the chicken will not be
permitted to reach the other side of the road until our investigation and any Congressional follow-up investigations have been completed. (We also are investigating whether Sid Blumenthal has
leaked information to the Rev. Jerry Falwell, alleging the chicken to be homosexual in an effort to discredit any useful testimony the bird may have to offer, or at least to ruffle his feathers.)
CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
I have just released eChicken 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook-and Internet Explorer is an inextricable
part of eChicken.
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken please?
The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.
And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road" And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
I missed one?
Old but a good one ;-)
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