Scared of all of you

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Posted by Paula ( on November 08, 2000 at 23:57:04:

In Reply to: Please Fill me in on what is going on....... posted by Jackie on November 08, 2000 at 03:36:16:

When the subject comes up of narcs, I am afraid to voice my experiance with them BECAUSE I really need all your support. And those who are against them voice there opions as loudly as those who use them. And there are those who think it weak to use anything. I am afraid you will think me weak or even doubt I have CH just because I have used narcotics. All I can voice is my own expereince with them and my own opinion. I have suffered 25 years of CH. Mostly 18 months between cycles and have had a cycle last 6 months. My last cycle just ended. I had tried everything the doc could come up with. Topamax being the last. I suffered 3 months while upping the dose. Had to go on leave from my job, and my family had to do everything without me because I could not function in so much pain. I was hospitalized, made trips to docs and ER's. Tried DHE (again) and was cut off from the only thing that worked which was imetrex because I use to much, two to four a day. I used my O2 to abort what I could and screamed through the rest. I was going to kill myself. Plane and simply i was at my the end of my rope.The CH were coming all night, morning, and evening with only a few hours inbeteen for relief. The doctor put me on narcotic patchs along with pills of pain med and let me use just alittle imitrex. I did get some relief!! the CH's during the day quit and he ones at night were a bit easier to handle. I was on the narcotics for a month. Then my CH went away. I took the patch off. Guess what I had withdrawls!! So bad I had to go back on the patch and taper down to quit. Did I get high from the narcs? NO! yes my body was addicted but not my mind. It scared me and that probibly is good. I won't take them just for fun,knowing how hard it is to quit and how easy it was to get addicted. It wasn't as hard to quit as smoking is. I would LOVE to find a preventative. That is what I am looking for. As for addictive personalities, I think I am but I also think addictive personalities are also STRONG people who can move mountains if they wish. And VERY obviosly strong in there opinions. I tell my story hoping I still have a home here. AND to let you know how some of you are coming across to a newbe. I want to be able to voice my opnion without being shut out. You can disagree with me. But please don't make me feel like I cannot belong just because I agree with someone you all don't agree with. I'm sorry this is so long. Thank You to those who took the time to read it. Paula

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