Why is everyone dumping on Derek?

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Posted by pinksharkmark ( on January 17, 2001 at 00:53:12:

In Reply to: Just returned...me and the headaches! posted by Derek on January 16, 2001 at 13:31:37:

He came looking for help in 99, got some advice, gave some advice, then moved on. If he had just read the posts (taking without giving ANYTHING back) you would never even have known he was had been here in the first place, let alone been here and then come back. Let's face it folks, the vast majority of visitors to this site never post at all.

Thousands of people READ this board, hundreds of people POST to this board, dozens of people post to this board on a REGULAR basis.

I found this board in 99. I read for a while, posted for a while, left for a while. I returned in 2000. I read for a while, posted after a few days, and got slammed for "abandoning the family", was accused of being a "drive-by", only looking for a "magic bullet", told that I had no right to criticize the spam and flaming that had proliferated since my last visit, since I hadn't been here all through my remission "giving back" to the "family" that had "given so much" to me. Was the argument supposed to be that if I had been here all along, the spam and flaming would not have occurred? Or was it that I would have had the right to comment on it, since I had paid my dues? I dunno. You tell me.

I am not a touchy-feely kinda guy. I suck at that kinda stuff. I don't post touchy-feely stuff. So what? There are plenty of others that do, and they're way better at it than I will ever be.

I am not a joke-telling kinda guy. I suck at telling jokes. I don't post jokes. So what? There are plenty of others who do, and they're way better at it than I will ever be.

I am not a birthday-remembering kinda guy. I regularly forget my own birthday. I don't post Happy Birthday messages. So what? There are plenty of others that do, and they are way better at it than I will ever be.

The only thing I have to contribute to this board is information, and even then, none of what I contribute is new. It's just a compilation of stuff I found here already. It is really only useful to those too lazy to use the search button.

I originally came to this site looking for info on how to treat CH. I found almost everything I know about this disease and its treatment on the link buttons, not on the message board. I did get further clarifications on the message board. I posted what I had found out to others looking for the same info. Then I left. No one missed me. No one commented on the message board that I had left. No one e-mailed me to see how I was doing. I didn't expect anyone to. It never occurred to me that anyone would.

I have the same reaction to CH as Derek. I hate this disease. I hate that it consumes my life when I am in cycle. When it's over, I want to get on with my life. I don't want to dwell on it. I get enough flak from my girlfriend for spending so much time posting to CH.com when I am in cycle. She REALLY begrudges the time I spend posting to CH.com when I am NOT in cycle. She wants me to spend time with HER when I am in remission, to make up for all the time I spent wrapped up in my own misery, pushing her away when I was in cycle. I don't blame her.

It is true that this year I am hanging around while in remission and posting quite a bit on the use of mushrooms and LSD in the treatment of cluster headaches. But that is only because the topic fascinates me. Sooner or later, I will stop posting again. There is no need for me to continue... I'm not really contributing anything.

Mushroom hobbyists now know about this use for psilocybin mushrooms, and connections to the mushroom community have been forged. The hobbyists can answer any questions on how to grow them. (See Doc Charlie's Guide to Medicinal Mushrooms, post # 74162) Several regular posters are currently constructing a web page specializing in all aspects of this treatment for cluster headaches. Posts detailing success with this treatment are coming in now in increasing numbers. Those of a scientific bent amongst us (Miguel, Flash, BobP) can theorize about mechanisms explaining WHY it works.

In other words, if I decide to never post here again, the "family" has lost nothing. Nada. Bupkes. Zip. Similarly, if I had never posted a single word about the mushrooms, nothing would have been lost either. Flash got the ball rolling, not me. BobP supplied the serotonin connection, not me. Flash contacted Dr. Russo and the big pharmaceutical firm, not me. I contributed nothing to the knowledge that was already either here on the board or readily available to anyone with a smidgin of interest in the subject and the willingness to spend a few hours with a search engine.

So, who would have missed out on anything if I had never made a single post? No one. If you don't believe me, do a search of all my posts. I challenge you to find anything in any of my posts that hadn't been mentioned already by others... (either on CH.com or in other forums just as easily accessible) in most cases, by NUMEROUS others.

Similarly, who has been deprived by Derek's absence? No one. Who has been harmed by his return? No one. Why climb up his ass for coming back?

Let's step back a bit, here. We all use the internet on a regular basis. How many of us have actually contributed to the internet? What percentage of us have web pages? We all use it, when we see fit, as we see fit. No one gives us a hard time about not "giving back" to the internet community. Some people LOVE to spend hours, days, weeks, months, designing pages, building links, uploading reams and reams of data on anything under the sun. Cool. No one is holding a gun to their head. They do it because they want to. They love it.

These folks never get irate if someone drops in, takes what is useful, vanishes for a while, returns after an extended absence, and asks, "Hey! What's new?"

For what it's worth, the board I returned to in the summer of 2000 was a way different board than the one I left in 99. When I left in 99 the board was still, for the most part, a place to ask questions and receive information. I, too, was taken aback by the flames and stupid posts when I returned in 2000. It has settled down considerably since then. I know Derek was not the only one who left because of this (temporary) degeneration. Does the name GaryG ring a bell?

Wow....I'm rambling a bit here. I guess my bottom line is that I've seen a hell of a lot more offensive posts than Derek's pass by without comment. Seems the only reason y'all have a wild hair up your butts is that he admitted to a temporary leave of absence. In my mind, this doesn't justify the hostility. Nowhere in the introductory page does it say that if you post once, you have to post forever.

Chill out, dudes and dudettes. Save your vitriol for the hoaxers, the vendors of mulberry juice and vitamin supplements and allergy tests, and the stalkers, not for those who took a temporary leave of absence.


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