Posted by Charlie S (12.39.93.104) on January 30, 2001 at 21:46:53:
Subject: Daily Moment of Zen
Date: Mon, 29 Jan 2001 18:30:21 EST
1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not
lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk
beside
me, either. Just leave me the hell alone.
2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a
leaky
tire.
3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your
neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
4. Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any.
5. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
6. Deleted
7. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.
8. Remember, never test the depth of the water with both feet.
9. It may be that your sole purpose in life
is simply to serve as a warning to others.
10. It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities
without your help.
11. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing
a couple of car payments.
12. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.
That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and
you have their shoes.
13. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
14. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.
Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat & drink beer all
day.
15. If you lend someone $20, and never see
that person again, it was probably worth it.
16. Don't squat with your spurs on.
17. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
18. If you drink, don't park; accidents cause people.
19. Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield.
20. Don't worry, it only seems kinky the first time.
21. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of
that comes from bad judgment.
22. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half
and put it back in your pocket.
23. Timing has an awful lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
24. A closed mouth gathers no feet.
25. Duct tape is like the Force.
It has a light side & a dark side, and it holds the universe
together.
26.There are two theories to arguing with women.
Neither one works.
27. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your
mouth is moving.
28. Experience is something you don't get until
just after you need it.
29. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
30. We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse
Smiles,---Charlie S :^)