another night coming, and dreading it again

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Posted by Tami ( on February 22, 2001 at 18:55:54:

Well obviously I'm still here today, for those of you who read my post last night. thanks to all of you who took the time to respond. I was briefly in the chatroom, but ha got too bad, couldn't bear to look at the screen or even think. Supposed to see my dr. tomorrow, have been getting nerve blocks (this is the 3rd one) not helping yet, but at least he is willing to try new things. Kind of expensive for no results, but he says they are useful for diagnosis anyway. Of course it is not his money we are spending. I really do not want to give up, and miss all that I would miss, but already today I have had 3 ha's, and another one on the way. There is no quality of life left when it is like this. Usually it will taper off after a few weeks of this, but it has been at this level for a couple months now. who knew I would long for the days when I "only" got 3-4 ha's in a day? I'm scared to death of the coming night, have been sitting here crying since i got home from work. I used to think I was such a strong person, guess now I know the truth.
BTW, for those of you who met me at convention, I am at least not having the problems with losing weight. I have not gained any, but it doesn't seem so hard to eat all the time, so at least that is not adding to my problems. One less thing to worry about is good i guess. Thank you all of you,

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