Posted by Carl D (126.96.36.199) on March 03, 2001 at 06:12:40:
I finally was able to get 6 1/2 hours of pure unbreached sleep up until about 3am, at which time I woke up with a 20 minute full blown attack. Afterwards though, I felt completely rested. One more night of this, and I will resume work on the book.
I was doing some research on Insomnia in my 'ole witch doctor book (medical journal), and found something quite interesting.
One thing that can cause insomnia is a condition known as "Restless Leg Syndrone" aka Jimmy legs. I have had this since I was a young 'un, and it has been bad the last couple of years. It is not painful, but more of an uncomfortable feeling in the legs. I have to keep my legs moving constantly, and will just sit and they will begin moving without me even being aware of it sometimes. The cause of this is unknown, but I believe thanks to Lady Elaine, I may have found a solution to this.
Sleeping has been almost impossible for me lately. At one point, I had not slept for so long, I was not tired - but wired as if I were on some form of speed. Today I began taking Doans pills combined with Acetominaphin to see if it would help with my shadowing. I frequently switch from Ibuprofen to Acetominaphin to prevent getting too used to one or more of the components, thus losing its effectiveness. Lately, it has been the stomache liner eater I have been taking (Ibupro), but switched back to Acetominaphin (Active ingredient in Tylenol). After taking the doans pills again earlier this evening, I decided to try and lie down.
I feel much better than I have in days now. Rested. Something I have not felt in over a week or more. I feel much more alive and awake right now, and am anxious for one more night of bliss so I can continue "Snapped" with a clear head, and possibly complete it before my mark I have set for myself. If I am finished before April 20th, it will be my birthday present to myself.
It is amazing, but writing this book has been very cathartic for myself. I hope that in its complete form, it will be therapeutic for everyone who has CH in one way or another. Perhaps everyone will have something to learn from my boy Wyatt (the main character); and see themselves through his sufferings and losses. If so, I will have achieved more than I origionally set out to do. That in itself would be a blessing.
I have to admit: In the many months I have been away from this board, I forgot just how many wonderful and amazingly insightful people are here. People like Dennis O' C, Todd, beautiful Lady Elaine; and even the new faces that have come to the table such as JSS and Cheryl. I have drawn much inspiration and comfort from many of you, and in a way of sorts - I feel as though I am home again.
What is ironic, at least to me, is I remember my dream tonight very well. I was home again; I was a teenager again. I was cleaning and rearranging my bedroom in the basement of my childhood home. I put my table back under tha basement window, and began rebuilding my desk (this part I remember vividly), and many friends began showing up and cheering me on. It was kind of strange, but looking at that dream right now - it said something to me. I believe that dreams often tell us things we need to know, but never pick up on.
I am rediscovering life again. I am cleaning house, and getting rid of many negative things in my life. What the desk in particular symbolized to me was the beginning of a new work. I could feel it in the dream, that I was doing all of this for an important work or project I was about to begin. There was a purpose I was preparing for. The fact that many friends showed up to cheer me on symbolizes to me that I have many more people in my corner cheering me on than I have ever believed. I walked out into the backyard to smoke a cigarette, and was just staring up at the stars. There were so many of them. I felt as though I had just punched a hole in the Universe, and that all of these stars were a result of me setting them free. That part I do not understand. If it means what I think it does though, "Snapped" may be a bigger reality than I ever believed could be real outside of my delusions of grandeur. The important thing now is to complete this work, and send it punching into the universe, and see if the stars break out.
Hoping for another good night, and if you have problems with sleeplessness, try some Doans pills to see if that helps you to relax some. To sleep, if perchance even to dream.
P.S. - I never fully realized how much of a family we really are until the last couple of days. Feels good to be home again.
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