Posted by TerryS (198.133.22.74) on March 06, 2001 at 02:05:47:
Subject: Watch what you ask for:
A small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness
to the stand in a trial--a grandmotherly, elderly woman.
He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've
known you since you were a young boy. And frankly, you've been a
big
disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you
manipulate
people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a
rising
big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you will never
amount
to
anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he
pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Williams, do you know the
defense
attorney?"
She replied, "Why, yes I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a
youngster, too. I used to baby-sit him for his parents. And he,
too,
has
been a real disappointment to me. He's lazy, bigoted, and has a
drinking
problem. The man can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and
his
law practice is one of the shoddiest in the entire state. Yes, I
know
him."
At this point, the judge rapped the courtroom to silence and called
both
counselors to the bench.
In a very quiet voice, he said with menace, "If either of you asks
her
if she knows me, you'll be jailed for contempt!"