Posted by Carl D (220.127.116.11) on March 10, 2001 at 03:17:32:
How hard is it to figure out, huh?
Put a lion in a cage. Beat the poor thing into submission, and then try to hand him a steak. Not only will he be starved for what his body obviously needs, but he will be angry, and take your arm with it.
Dangle a carrot in my face after what I have been through, and I will not only take that fucking arm, I will drain your lifeblood through those fucking bitemarks.
Am I upset? You are fucking right!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just spent another torturous hour in level 10 hell, and then I think of the scam artists of the past and the present. Then I read Todds post that he has tried to contact this fucking idiot (Sorry, no tolerance in pain, my dear), and he has received bullshit numbers from Mr Rock. Not only is Mr Rock's a crackpot theory, but he probably did not expect anyone on this site to have 'done thier homework'. I sit here day after day living this shit - what else am I gonna do? Prey upon people who hurt like this fuck? No. I research. I learn more everyday. Man, some people are just sick fucks that will prey upon anyone they can get a buck out of.
If you find my language or use of wording to be too strong, I am sorry. Ask yourself how chipper you feel during your next attack. Try to plant a seed into the ground during a level 10. You will find yourself punching that fucking violate ground within minutes from frustration. Every single day of my life, I know what to expect. What I don't know is if the next attack will kill me or not. No one knows the possibilties of the beast, and I could very well lose it during an attack, without really thinking, and just slit my fucking precious wrists as I often think of.
Reading the compilation of Rocky responses Ueli put together hit a very sensitive nerve in me. It is the same nerve that brought about the idea for my book, "Snapped". I had a doc who was an insensitive prick. I hated him. He hated me for knowing more about the condition - and at that time I basically wrote my own prescripts... but I wanted someone who knows what the fuck I am dealing with. Out of that bad experience, I learned that everything negative can become a positive.
People like Rocky are a negative that is positive. Iron sharpens Iron - and he has proven how sharp some of the people on this board are (By the way, Ueli - you're my new hero). You see, we are not new to "The Miracle Cures " and all of that bull.
If you are for real, and you are hiding vital info that could help someone right now - then you are a motherfucking devil!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am thankful for all of those who shared home remedies and such, no matter how ludicrous it sounded - I was willing to try it. I am willing to try it. I want to be over this and get my life back where it should be. I want to pretend it was all a bad nightmare.
This nightmare never ends.
I have been nice up until now. I have not attacked anyone, or stated anything outside of reason. But if you put that carrot in my face one more time, I won't just take your arm. I have been in the CH cage for 13 1/2 years - almost half of my life. I am sick of pain. I am sick of thinking of ways to escape it. And I am sick to death of fuckheads who dangle a pinata carrot in my face.
Put up, or shut up and get the fuck out. I have had enough, and would really like to reserve my anger and channel it for better use. At this moment - I don't give a self-righteous fuck. I have been in severe pain tonight, and am tired of over inflated bullshit. You can say "treatment" or "something that helps". If you say "CURE", you better have some ground to stand on. I want testimonials from people with CH who have been 'Cured', or I want a professional medical research teams response on the treatment. Don't give me some bullshit and say it is a brownie. Prove your excuse, or get the fuck out!!!
Mind you, I am a very loving, tolerant, caring person. But if you kick dirt in my friends face, or throw sand in his eyes - I will kick your everloving ass!!! Guess you would have to meet me to know for sure. I am a man of my word, and everyone who knows me knows that I am someone you want on your side, because I fight for what I believe in, and I stand up for those who cannot stand up for themselves. The same was done for me in younger years, and I repay the favor even to strangers. The things is, you are attacking people here who deal with hell on a daily basis. The most frail person here would probably kick your ass before you could say "Rocky", as they have the same aggression built up in them as I do from the daily battle with the beast. You do not know what you are dealing with here. You obviously know the difference between CH and TN like you do shit from shine-ola.
Sorry, but you have just experienced what happens when you come out of a level 10 (Kill me fucking please!!!) attack, and come back down to reality. You have no clue as to what we deal with. Your merciless insolent comments have made that clear. I was 'nice' in my previous response, but fuck niceness. Big business smiles gleefully as they stab one another in the back. Fuck all that.
I am just being for real and honest. Quit dangling the carrot, and show your stuff. Why be afraid? Because you will not profit from thier desperation? If that is the way you feel - then I am thankful there is a God, he will be the ultimate judge, and hell cannot burn hot enough for your kind.
How much would you charge a homeless woman to fill her bottle for her infant? Would you even bother to feed her? Would you give her a pill that will "solve her problems" and charge her 30 bucks? You not only come off as a shiester, but not a very good one at that. You have not done your homework, we have. You do not know the difference between CH and TN, some of us do. You are dangling that fucking carrot - and for that sir, I wasn't born with enough middle fingers to salute you with.
Spend a day with me or any clusterhead. If it does not affect you - then you are a cold superfuck. I cannot help anyone else. I can barely help myself. However, if I stumble upon a "cure" or a very good "treatment", it will be posted for all of the world to see. What will I gain from that? Several things: I will have cured myself, and this overwhelming sense of victory by having helped others. Especially if they write me and say "THAT WORKED!!!"
To take away someone elses pain would be a blessing. To find a cure would be more impactual than the climax of "Its a Wonderful Life". To make a difference is what this life is all about.
But you carrot dangling insolent little fuck...
Go peddle your bullshit to someone who is a sucker. I am sick to death of seeing this shit on the board.
Oh, and if I seem defensive - you're right. I am defensive. My defense mechanisms grow stronger each day I live with this. Because of CH and the pain I deal with - a 3rd degree burn is a fly itch to me. I fear nothing but God. Even at that - I only half fear God. I am so deceiving. I look so innocent. I look so whimpy. I look like an easy target.
Those who know me and have seen me in action know I am for real, and I don't play bullshit games. If you start demeaning people on this board, or degrading thier pain, or simply say "suffer" to them: I will not be polite and nice and say "You shouldn't do that".
However, I will tell you this:
"YOU FUCK WITH PEOPLE I CARE ABOUT, YOU FUCK WITH ME. THE DANGER WILL ROBINSON IS - I FUCK HARDER!!!"
Now that I have spoken my peace - then either put up, or get the fuck off of this site. We do not need snakeoil salesmen or con artists here. We need the truth and a cure. These are two things you have yet to get in touch with.
P.S. - what do you expect after a day in hell? Tea and crumpets?
I am frustrated as hell here - but coping.
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