Something very personal

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Posted by Thomas ( on March 18, 2001 at 09:47:16:

Hi! 6 month after my cluster had started in 1996, my girlfriend asked me to leave the house. I left without being angry.Perhaps I wouldn`t have waited that long, if I had been in her place. I still think of her with deep love and I miss her very, very much.Although she refused to talk to me again, I am trying to explain to her in writing for some days now, what the cluster is, after I had to realize, that my pain and the horrible thoughts are "really" true by reading your messages. Meanwhile I have written dozens of pages, dealing with the cluster alone. Rereading them, it is emberassing to open me and all I have to offer is sh.. But I feel, that I have to do so to get rid of a big misunderstanding. She will not believe it, you know that. But anyway, I have to try. Then I can start to forget her.
The last two days were almost painfree. The gained energy I have put into my wishes, that you may have the same feeling of how beautiful life can be. Bye, Tomas

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