Posted by Hector (18.104.22.168) on March 24, 2001 at 05:26:45:
There was this old married couple who had been happily married for
The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of
loudly farting every morning as he awoke. The noise would wake his wife
and the smell would make her eyes
water and make her gasp for air.
Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off as
it was making her sick. He told her
he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told
him to see a Doctor as she was concerned that one day he was going to
fart his guts out.
The years went by and he continued to rip them out.
Then on Christmas morning as she was downstairs preparing the
turkey for dinner and he was upstairs
sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had just put the
turkey innards and neck, gizzards,
liver and all the spareparts and a malicious thought came to her.
She took the bowl and went upstairs
where her hubby was sound asleep and gently pulling back the bed
covers she slid down his
underpants at the back and emptied the bowl of turkeyguts into
Several hours later she heard her husband waken with his usual
arise ripping Trumpeting and this was
followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic
footsteps as he ran to the bathroom.
The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor
laughing with tears in her eyes.
After years of torture she reckoned she had got her own back.
About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his
bloodstained underpants with a look
of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked him what was
the matter. He said, "Honey, you
were right. All those years you warned me and I didn't listen to
"What do you mean," asked his wife." Well, you always told me that
one day I would end up farting my guts
out and today it finally happened.
But ... by the grace of God, some Vaseline and these two fingers,
I think I got most of them back in."
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