Swan Dive

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Posted by sailpappy ( on April 01, 2001 at 10:03:59:

Having climed as high as I can on the Spire, sitting on the very brink of insanity, I had to ask myself this one question, Do a swan dive or climb down back into the same old Pain filled rut.
So balanced on the tiniest sphere I pondered my fate for a few dys nd then returned to the Swan position and took a deep breath. Unsure of the outcome I took one last deep breath and off I went into the unknown, I have fallen for weeks now and after several increases in the Medication I have actually slept through the night for the first time in many many months.
I started back to the Neurologist and after weeks of deliberation and trials of different meds he put me on Oxy-Contin, 30 mg every 12 hours. I feel little or no outward affect from this med, but the by day 3 I was down from 10 daily attacks to a tolerable 3. Only 2 yesterday and I was allowed to spend 1 entire painfree day at the Zoo with my Grandchildren.
Point I'm making-don't put yourself upon a pedistal with no way down beyond a feeling of complete failure! Pappy

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