Posted by Frank (216.249.94.218) on April 01, 2001 at 14:50:25:
04/01/01
Journal Of The American Medical Association
For Immediate Release
Scientists at Rocky and Bullwinkle Medical Center have concluded a major research project to determine the best medications for treating cluster headaches. The study involved 7,247 chronic sufferers and 6,856 episodic sufferers.
According to leading researcher Proctologist Dr. Ahole Rocky, M.D. 73% of the 14,103 patients involved in the study were completely cured of cluster headache symptoms after taking MSM. Another 22% were cured after taking OTC medications including aspirin, Tylenol, and Advil. and prescription drugs such as Vicodin and Darvocet. The remaining 5% of patients were hypochondriacs who did not have cluster headaches in the first place, and who are still complaining that something is very wrong.
In a separate study, Alcoholics Anonymous Dr. Bill W., MD determined that drinking at least one case of beer or 375mL of hard liquor will cure cluster headache pain. Results in the study were definitely dose related, with patients who drank larger amounts reporting that the level of pain was reduced as more drinks were consumed. At 48 beers or 750mL of hard liquor, the CH pain was completely relieved.