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Posted by Margi ( on April 03, 2001 at 15:14:54:

In Reply to: Hey, y'all...DJ's ch's are coming up soon...HELP!? posted by Julie M. on April 03, 2001 at 15:03:51:

first of all, ASK DJ what he needs you to do for him, before the heachache arrives. He won't be able to answer you while he's getting attacked.
Does he want you to get his shots ready for him? Does he want some ice? a cool cloth? And here's the biggie...the hardest one you will be able to do, Julie. He might want to be left alone while he's getting attacked. You won't want to do it, but if that's what he prefers, that's what you have to do, ok? It will be like this huge magnet is pulling you to go help him, but if he would rather concentrate on the pain by himself, you have to respect that. Stay within earshot, and be ready to run if he calls you, but if that's what he wants, trust him -- he knows.
Try not to be afraid, know that these attacks do pass and he will be pain free in time. What I've done for Mike in the past is watched the clock for him. See, I know that his attacks rarely go longer than an hour. I tell him that he's gone 45 minutes, only 15 more to go. That seems to help.
When I saw Mike's attacks at first, I wanted to call 911, but he wouldn't let me. It scared the crap outta me. But you're medically trained, Julie -- and you're also armed with the knowledge that this debilitating pain IS somewhat temporary and not fatal. Just be there for him, that's my best advice to you.
Oh, and lotsa hugs help after. Mike used to feel self-conscious that I'd seen him in so much pain, I guess he felt that I would think he was weak or something...I still don't really understand that but, that's how he felt. Just love him, and let him know he's not alone.
You'll do fine, Julie - just stay calm and don't forget you've got a lotta friends out here who understand what you're both going through.
Peace to you both.

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