Love and Marrige...

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Posted by GR ( on April 11, 2001 at 14:17:35:

Subject: Love and Marriage... as written by a man
      Remember; Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
       Statistically 100% of all divorces started with marriage!
       I married Miss Right.
       I just didn't know her first name was Always.
       I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months.
       I don't like to interrupt her.
       Marriage is a 3-ring circus:
       Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
       The last fight was my fault. My wife asked,
       "What's on the TV?"
       I said, "Dust!"
       In the beginning, God created earth and  rested. Then God
       created man and rested. Then God created woman.
       Since then, neither God nor man has rested.
       Why do men die before their wives?
       Cause they want to.
       Do you know the punishment for bigamy?
       Two mothers-in-law.
       Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa  
       a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?
       Dad: That happens in every country, son.
       A man inserted an 'ad' in the classified:
       "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters.
        They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
       The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to
       forget it once.
       First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
       Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
       How do most men define marriage?
       An expensive way to get laundry done for free.
       Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men  would go through
       life thinking they had no faults at all.
       If you want your wife to listen and pay undivided attention to
       every word you  say, talk in your sleep.
       Then there was a man who said, "I never knew  what real
       happiness was until I got married;  and then it was too late."
You don't know how good a thing is until you loose it! When you
get married you lose your celibacy.
      A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get
      married?" And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying.

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