Posted by Carl D on April 07, 1999 at 01:09:40:
Hi,My name is Carl. I am 29 years old. I have been suffering from cluster headaches since the age of 17. In 1993 they got so bad i wanted to kill myself (I seem to be a chronic sufferer: Been in cycle for a year now.start to go away but then come right back. have passed out several times from the pain being so intense). When they started back up last April,they were ten times stronger than before, sometimes my whole face turns numb and tingly while the front top,temple and rear by the ear of my head feels like someone has shoved a pipe thru my head and are trying to lift me up by it. I have been unable to work since last April,and lost my apartment in November. I've had to sell alot of my personal belongings to survive and also pay for medicine, and have been staying with friends (which, I have to find a new place to live by the end of the month)and don't have a dime to my name. In 1994 I started going to the Michigan Head-pain and Neurological Inst. and spent a boatload of money trying to find a treatment that worked. We did (verapamil & lithium) but that no longer is effective. In fact, one doctor suggested that may be the reason i keep passing out (verapamil).I have been from one doctor to another until i kno longer have any money. Now noone wants to treat my headaches, as I cant afford them, I cant get a medical card unless i am considered disabled, and i was just turned down for disability (the neurologist i have now is no help). I've had a catscan, MRI, MRA, and have even been to see the Chairman of the headache foundation @ washington U in st louis. He charged me 250.00 to ask a few questions, give a couple of samples (one of which the pamplet info said not to take if you had slurred speech ,which ive had,because it might cause stroke)and set up a followup appt. The next appt. was 50.00 and because i couldnt afford to pay the day of, they cancelled my appt. I'm about to be homeless, I have no prospects of legally making money,no way of getting medical treatment, my brothers arent very supportive(theyre tired of hearing about it),My friends avoid me as if i had the bubonic plague, meanwhile, I'm dealing with the most torturous pain in the world and its as if no one cares. I feel like im ready to lose my mind. In fact,I'm ready to die. Anyone have any suggestions? Has anyone else become disabled due to this? Does anyone feel the way i do,or am I truly in a rare percentage of sufferers of a rare torture headache? I can go for a couple of days pain free, and then one day i can have 2 that last 45 mins to one and a half/two hours, or i can have ten that come at various points of the day and wipe me out completely.Since midnight last night, I've had 3. The one at 9:14am lasted almost until noon today, and it was intense!!!!It seems nothing helps. Ultram works very little,and I cant take much more of this. I dont have a life anymore.I keep asking myself "is this all my life will be?"
desperate,
Carl D