Posted by TerryS (198.133.22.68) on April 27, 2001 at 01:22:51:
UPDATED REDNECK LIST
They have definitely UPDATED the list!
> > > >
> > > > " You know you're a redneck when ..."
> > > >
> > > > You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
> > > > You can entertain yourself for more than an hour with a flyswatter.
> > > > Your property has been mistaken for a recycling center.
> > > > Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
> > > > You burn your yard rather than mow it.
> > > > The Salvation Army declines your mattress.
> > > > Your entire family sat around waiting for a call from the governor
to
> > > > "Spare a loved One".
> > > > You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't
want
> > it.
> > > > You come back from the dump with more than you took.
> > > > You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
> > > > Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
> > > > You've been kicked out of the zoo for heckling the monkeys.
> > > > You think a subdivision is part of a math problem.
> > > > You've bathed with flea and tick soap.
> > > > You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
> > > > Your kids take a siphon hose to show and tell.
> > > > You think a hot tub is a stolen indoor plumbing fixture.
> > > > You took a fishing pole to Sea World.
> > > > You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.
> > > > You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
> > > > You have a rag for a gas cap.
> > > > Your father executes the "Pull my finger" trick during Christmas
> > dinner.
> > > > Your house doesn't have curtains but your truck does.
> > > > You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
> > > > You can spit without opening your mouth.
> > > > You consider your license plate personalized because your father
made
> > it.
> > > > Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
> > > > You sit on your roof at Christmas time hoping to fill your deer
> quota.
> > > > You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Cool Whip
on
> > the
> > > > side.
> > > > The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.
> > > > Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.
> > > > You thought the Unibomber was a wrestler.
> > > > You've ever used your ironing board as a buffet table.
> > > > You think a quarter horse is that ride in front of K-Mart.
> > > > Your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings
> you
> > > > home.
> > > > A tornado hits your neighborhood and does a $100,000 worth of
> > > improvement.
> > > > You've used a toilet brush as a back scratcher.
> > > > You've asked the preacher "How's it hangin'?"
> > > > You missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty.
> > > > You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph.
> > > > Somebody tells you that you've got something in your teeth and you
> take
> > > > them out to see what it is.