Posted by deb e (22.214.171.124) on April 27, 2001 at 03:15:46:
recieved or was in anyway involved thru deceit into the drama that is my home life. i was gonna' do e-mail but decided that i have nothing to hide from any of you. for those of you that have no idea what i'm talking here don't give it a thought, those that do will know. being a CH is not an easy way to live life, it's bearable at best sometimes. when you are married to someone that mistrusts everything you do or say, that makes it all the harder to go on. in 25 years of carrying the beast around my neck i had little to no support from anyone, husband included, which is not to fault him, it was nothing he saw as something that involved him as i shut myself away as we all tend to do. finding this site was, i would have to say, one of the best things i have ever done. wanting to share what was bringing me comfort in the midst of the pain i talked of the trials you went thru, laughed aloud at what i would read in posts, i enjoyed coming here more than i should have apparently. what that did was to cause great jealousy and out of that has come contact in the form of concern for me. what this truly is isn't concern, it is the thinking of a man that has the need to invade and destroy any good thing that brings joy. i am eternally sorry for the ones that were pulled into this thinking they were doing good, helping out a fellow supporter, you were decieved by someone with many years of practice and i will never be able to say just how bad i feel for that. the post i wrote referring to the fact that people use what they need at the time and give it up when it's of no further use was based on just this very thing. should i not return, not post anything further, this would end here. i will not agree to that, which is why i come here with this post now. the end to the story is a simple one, i am separating from this way of life and from the one that causes it to be what it is. not a story book ending, don't think this is an easy out, it isn't. with every ending comes a new beginning and i hear that somewhere out there a doctor waits for me! sorry doc, not interested. there is a better path i follow.
ok, you can all breath now.. i'm done :-)
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