I just finished

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Posted by Todd ( on April 30, 2001 at 23:25:11:

a 16 hour work day. Yesterday, I drove 200 miles, worked a couple of hours and got 6 hours sleep seriously interupted by heavy shadows on the 'wrong' side. This has been my first chance to read chmb since last night, and I see I missed a rather tumultuous day.

If I had any common sense, I'd just turn off the laptop and call it a night. I was ready to, until I saw the link Paco posted.

For those who don't know, I wrote the New Visitors page quite a long while ago. It was originally a post, written after a spell on the board not unlike this one. Although I received numerous compliments on it, I must admit I just sat down and typed it out. Didn't spend days or even hours on it. I just typed what I felt and believed. DJ thought enough of it to turn it into a permanent page here, and I'm honored by that.

I've been here (ch.com) for over 2 years now. When I first found this place, I went back and read every post that had ever been written. Sure, it was easier back then - not so many archives, but it still took some time and effort. Many others of "my era" did the same. Doubt I'd do that today, but glad I did back then. I haven't missed many posts since.

I know DJ. Not personally - we've not yet met. We haven't even spoken on the phone, but we've communicated periodically through icq and email. DJ's belief is that this is OUR site, not his. He doesn't believe in censorship of the autocratic type. He believes that people that make fools of themselves should have to face their mistakes through the permanent reminder of their posts here and in the archives. Lord knows I've posted a few things I wish he would have deleted, but I've never asked him to do so. Nor will I ever. If I make a bed, I expect to have to lay in it.

Many harsh things have been said today. Many points have been raised and many people have had their ire raised or their feelings hurt. Some of them asked for it, some were mis-understood, some just got caught in the backlash and a few may even have been hit by "friendly fire".

CHMB, like life, provides no guarantees.

This board is comprised of countless "cliques". There are the "oldtimers", the "newbies", the "supporters", the "touchy-feelies", the "technicals", the "alternative treatments", the "jokers", the "watchdogs", the "lurkers", the "whiners", the "fakers", the "fill in the ________ yourself"er's.

Do we have people here who don't suffer from CH? Certainly. Are some of these "fakers" just looking to belong? Likely. Are some mis-diagnosed sufferers of migraines, tension headaches, TN or some other disorder/illness? Likely. Should these people be here? Nope. Simply because DJ created this place solely for clusterheads, and as BrianK said, it's the only place like it on the whole huge WorldWideWeb.

Will we ever be rid of them? Nope.

Human nature, honest mistake, intentional troublemakers, whatever. Much as we would like ch.com to be exclusively a haven for clusterheads, it never will be. People will stumble in, or crash the party or just get lost and they won't belong to the exclusive club of clusterheads who all wish we didn't qualify for membership.

I have no special insights to DJ's mind. I haven't talked to him in over a week and those last few communications were on subjects unrelated to this. But I know that, like most of us, he has a full time career and a personal life (outside the Net) and deals with clusters on top of it all. I'm astounded and humbled by his tolerance of this. In his shoes, I'd probably have shut the site down by now.

Speaking solely for myself, I hope DJ continues to be a better man than I am.


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