Posted by Linda B on April 12, 1999 at 17:03:15:
Hi Family,
Seem`s I really worried alot of you with my last post. And as I promised I would keep you informed.
First let me say I want to thank you all so much for being there for me. I will never have the word`s to tell you how much that meant to me. A thank you is just not enough.
Second I`m really doing GREAT about the whole thing.
I though I would just have a total brake down,but I didnt.
I also turned to my Native American faith. Which helped me do alot of soul searching very fastly.
I do not hate nor would ever hurt my husband. His in my soul of life. And really his a good man.
I also found by being nice and sweet to him it`s blowing the poor man`s brain. He really doesnt know which way`s up or down anymore. I confussed the heck out of him. I dint do this to hurt. I did it cause I just dont want to fight anymore. Me nor my children need it.
My children and I are doing excellent. I know that my attuide has alot to do with that.
So I cryed a small river. My life is going down a differnt path at this time. But all of this has made me stronger and a better person. Now my plan`s for the futrue will be differnt. This is also ok. I know I do have a future. It`s almost a relief for me. I can sleep in the middle of the bed. I dont have to cook and clean so much. I dont have to answer to him. I dont have to worry if his coming home or not. This one is a real plus I dont have to shave my leg`s if I dont want. I cant eat onion`s again. You know in 10 1/2 year`s I have`nt ate onion`s cause I didnt want to him to smell onion breath. I prefer to look at all the posative`s for now. Let me tell you there`s alot of them. I also remembered I dont need a man to hook-up the vcr,mow my lawn or many many other thing`s. These or thing`s I did before he came into my life. These and so many more or thing`s I can still do.
I feel reborn. And I`m loving it. It`s kinda like when we all have had that real bad CH attack`s. Then they finally go away. And after them wiping are butt`s we feel GREAT. Well I`m at that GREAT spot right now. I was never one to dwell on my own problem`s to long. I had to figure them out as fast as I could and go on with life.
Life is so short to worry. Like I said Thank`s will never be enough to tell you all what you did for me.
Hug`s and all my love to each and everyone of you