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Posted by TerryS ( on May 06, 2001 at 14:15:21:

Kansas Humor
You know your from Kansas if:
1. You no longer associate bridges or rivers with water.
2. You never met any celebrities. (Bob Dole isn't a celebrity, he's your
3. You know the meaning of Rock Chalk Jayhawk
4. Your closest neighbor is more than a mile away, and you can still see him
from your front
5. You can properly pronounce Salina, Basehor, Schoenchen, Kechi and
6. Going on vacation means going to Hutch to the fair, Abilene to Ikes house
or Boot Hill to see
Miss Kitty.
7. You know exactly what calf fries are, and eat them anyway.
8. A traffic jam involves two cars staring each other down at a four-way
stop, each determined to
be the most polite and let the other go first.
9. A Mercedes Benz is not a status symbol. A Ford F150 4x4 is. (except in
Johnson County)
10. You discover that in July, it takes only 2 fingers to drive your car.
11. The terms Sooners and Huskers cause the hairs on the back of your neck to
stand up straight
and your blood pressure to rise.
12. You have owned at least one belt buckle bigger than your fist.
13. You think that people who complain about the wind in their states are
14. You are not surprised to find movie rentals, ammunition and bait all in
the same store.
15. You know that the true value of a parking space is not determined by the
distance to the door
but by the availability of shade.
16. You have been asked, Where is Toto more than once.
17. You prefer the Little Apple over the Big Apple as a place to live.
18. You had at least one summer job that was bucking bails or custom cutting.
19. You learned how to shoot a gun before you learned how to multiply.
20. Your school classes have been canceled because of the cold.
21. You know in your heart that K-State can beat Oklahoma in football.
22. Traffic congestion is ten cars waiting to pass a combine on the highway.
23. You have had to switch from heat to A/C in the same day.
24. You know everything goes better with Ranch.
25. You call that smell coming from the feedyards... Money.
26. Your school classes have been canceled because of the heat.
27 You complain that you can not see Scott City... And you are in Dighton!
28. You know that Mt. Oread is really only just a hill.
29. You have seen people wear bib overalls to funerals and weddings.
30. You NEVER liked Norm Stewart.
31. You have ridden the school bus for more than an hour each way.
32. Over 50% of your wardrobe is purple.
33. In August you break a sweat the instant you step outside at 7a.m.
34. You instantly know someone is from Johnson County when they call
everything west of
Topeka... Western Kansas.
35. A tornado warning siren is your signal to go out in the yard and look for
a funnel.
36. You know the real way to pronounce the name of Clintons state and the
river... arKANSAS.
37. You think the opening day of pheasant season is a national holiday.

Finally, you are 100% Kansan if you have ever had this conversation:
You wanna Coke? Yeah. What kind? Dr Pepper

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