Posted by Lisa (220.127.116.11) on May 08, 2001 at 17:35:51:
I haven't written forever but I need some support because I am so frustrated! Starting the cycle again & have been doing the dance for days on end now. I am actually able to get out of bed today but am still wacked out on medicine & pain. Called my doctor to check in & let her know. One new change is that I am moving from my area to the Omaha, NE area because I lost my job (of course not due to any medical issues - HA!) & wondered if she is going to be able to refer me to a new doctor or clinic there. The nurse that called me back was brand new which meant I got to go through all of my medications again that were not up to date on the files & I had to spell some of them for her (not getting a good feeling already). I explain where I am at with pain, life situation & that I will be back in the area from Omaha if I need to be seen.
First she states, "Wow, that's a lot of information." and then asks me how to spell Omaha! On the verge of losing it, I spell it and she says, "Oh right, with two h's." How fucking stupid can you be? And this is at my own doctor's office! I'm going to have to go through this again if I move but I refuse to be scared to do anything with my life just because I live with pain. I'm terrified to find a new job that challenges me for fear I might hear "Well, maybe you should find something that's not so stressful or might allow you to feel better." I actually had a manager at my last job ask me if I had caused one of my migraines by going out and drinking the night before because I needed to come in late after a late night attack that kept me up all night. I know that there are so many other people with such worse stories than mine & I apologize for barging in on the message board & being so selfish. I admire each and every person for being so brave for going through this. I seem to have lost my hope & positivity for the moment. I'll take the time to go through everyone's stories to remember why we are all here & wish for PFD for everyone. Any opinions or information about doctors or clinics in the Omaha area would be great since I'm so new to the area. I can't thank everyone enough for letting me vent & apologize for taking so much space. Love & PF life for everyone - Lisa
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