Posted by From Mothers Everywhere (184.108.40.206) on May 11, 2001 at 10:17:04:
In Reply to: I am Home! posted by Deveny on May 10, 2001 at 17:54:25:
To determine whether you are truly prepared for the experience, we suggest you take this set of simple tests... PART I
Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Now rub your hands in the wet flowerbed and rub on the walls. Cover the stains with crayons. Place a fish stick behind the couch and leave it there all summer.
Obtain a 55-gallon box of Legos. (If Legos are not available, you may substitute roofing tacks or broken bottles.) Have a friend spread them all over the house. Put on a blindfold. Try to walk to the bathroom or kitchen. Do not scream (this could wake a child at night).
GROCERY STORE TEST:
Borrow one or two small animals (goats are best) and take them with you as you shop at the grocery store. Always keep them in sight and pay for anything they eat or damage.
Obtain one large, unhappy, live octopus. Stuff into a small net bag making sure that all arms stay inside.
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