Catching up...

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Posted by Carl D ( on June 06, 2001 at 07:45:42:

Hey Guys, sorry I haven't been around here much but, I have been trying to catch up on the last three years of my life I just lost. Too much happening too quick to take a breath. Just starting to attempt to catch up on the board and see what I have missed.

First thing I have to say is DJ: OMFG!!! Dude, I hope you are doing okay and that lady of yours is taking good care of you. E told me you have had several mild strokes, and have suffered some effects from it. Just hope the CH is staying away to let you deal with this issue. One thing I learned is it can be a bitch to have any type of health issues and CH. Especially bad colds and CH. Man, that'll make you want to quit. Hope your hanging loose though guy, and look forward to seeing you in Atlanta.

I am doing good, somewhat. The CH have stayed down to 1 every other week or so. I had one Friday night, first one in weeks. For anyone who doesn't know, I spent from Feb '98 to April '01 CHRONIC. This is the longest CH-free period I have had in years, and I am amping out. However, I have had a health issue pop up recently. I got sick May 15th, and lost my voice and everything. Stayed mega sick and proceeded to get worse. I went to the doc last week after running temps of up to 104.4 and they ran a bunch of tests. Here it is the 6th, and I go for more tests today. They cannot figure out what is wrong with me, and why I am staying sick. Had a massive upper respiratory infection, but that seems to have passed. Still sick, however, and I still don't have my voice back. Had to cancel gigs due to inability to sing. So, Kinda irritated they can't figure out what is wrong, and sick and tired of being sick and tired, yadda yadda yadda.

Wrapping up "Snapped" (Finally, my first book!!!!) Now it is a matter of re-reading, editing and making sure the text is laid out to print; ready to go. Then, I will draw up manuscripts, and see if I can either get a loan to get the first issue published independently, or start shopping the manuscript to literary agents and publishers. Meanwhile, I have started my second novel, "The Vigilante Code", a story about gang violence and kids on the offense. This one will be a piece of cake compared to the hell I went through writing "Snapped", That was mental torture!

I will need a couple of days to catch up on the board, but I can tell just skimming quickly through the last couple of weeks of archives and the posts below me, There has been alot of the same 'ole going on, with tempers flaring and people being hurt. I have to say, I have had my share of venom dripping posts in the past, and I am sure I have cut and ripped some people a new exiting hole, and I am not proud of that one bit. I think alot of us get so wrapped up and involved in the pain and its affect on us, that we lash out at others who, deserving or undeserving - feel the brunt of a strong wrath that has been fueled by the CH demon.
All I can say is we tear each other apart with words, and some have already been torn to bits by CH and its corroding domino effect. For some, this message board is thier refuge from the ignorance they face on a daily basis, for others, it is a source of strength and support when there is none to be found anywhere else. Then, it is a playground for children of malice who come in and whip us into a frenzy by either attacking someone we care about, or posting useless, mis-information that antagonizes people. We need to stick together and try to put ourselves in anothers shoes. What is one mans pocket knife is another mans sword. What is one mans poison is another mans cure. What is one mans papercut is another mans gaping wound in his chest where someone has ripped his fucking heart out. Well, you get my point.

I am tired now. My nerves did not allow me to sleep all night, as I have the doc appointment this morning (Yippee - I get to play pincushion again.) Things could be worse. I could be getting hit with level 10 CH's that last over an hour. Let this be a lesson to anyone going through the fire right now with the beast - There are better times ahead, you just can't see them. It might seem like they will never end, but they do. Try everything you can to cope and deal with the beast, and keep your spirits up. If you can do it, try the 'Shroom therapy. It worked for me and several others, it just might possibly work for you. Just be careful, and hang loose.

Carl D

P.S. - Hey Jonny, am I supposed to bring my acoustic guitar to the convention?

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