Quotes :^)

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Posted by Charlie S ( on August 14, 2001 at 18:02:37:

Quotes by the Rich and Famous:

"On the one hand, we'll never experience childbirth. On the other hand,
we can open all our own jars."
Bruce Willis (On the difference between men and women)

"And God said: 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on
me . And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on
-- George Burns

"What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold
my purse.' "
-- Sandra Bullock

"The Web brings people together because no matter what kind of a twisted
sexual mutant you happen to be, you've got millions of pals out there.
Type in 'Find people that have sex with goats that are on fire' and the
Computer will ask, 'Specify type of goat.'"
-- Jason Alexander (George Castanza on Seinfeld)

"Luge strategy? Lie flat and try not to die."
-- Carmen Boyle (Olympic Luge Gold Medal winner- (1996)

"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole
-- Sharon Stone

"There are only two reasons to sit in the back row of an airplane:
Either you have diarrhea, or you're anxious to meet people who do."
-- Henry Kissenger (former US Secretary of State)

"My girlfriend always laughs during sex - no matter what she's reading."
-- Steve Jobs (Founder: Apple Computers)

"My cousin just died. He was only 19. He got stung by a bee - the
enemy of a tightrope walker."
-- Dan Rather (News anchorman)

"I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said,
-- Arnold Schwarzenegger

"Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you're in."
-- Courtney Cox (Monica on "Friends")

"Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men.
Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps."
-- Tiger Woods

"Things you'll never hear a woman say: My, what an attractive scrotum!'
-- Patricia Arquette

"I read somewhere that 77 percent of all the mentally ill live in
poverty. Actually, I'm more intrigued by the 23 percent who are
apparently doing
quite well for themselves."
-- Jerry Garcia (Grateful Dead)

"I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a
Great White or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot."
-- Axel Rose (Guns'n'Roses)

"Capital punishment turns the state into a murderer. But imprisonment
turns the state into a gay dungeon-master."
-- Rev. Jesse Jackson

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."
-- Jack Nicholson

"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but
he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."
-- Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady)

Charlie :^)

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