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Posted by Todd ( on August 22, 2001 at 17:49:18:

In Reply to: i pay rent for a car and apartment...that i don't use posted by den on August 22, 2001 at 15:04:41:

I rented your apartment to a family of migrant ant farmers from Bosnia. He's a Serb and she's Croatian but their love has transcended earthly disagreements. Wish I could say the same for the in-laws, but change happens more slowly in the old, ya know. Not to worry, I did get a $4.50 security deposit which should go a long way to replacing your former furniture.

They found your car keys right where you left them and asked me to say thanks, but where is your gas credit card? Thing ran dry days ago and while it will run on potato vodka, Grampa keeps siphoning it out of the tank. Oh, and if the bathtub drain runs a bit slow you should tell the plumber to look for peelings.

The kids are having a good time. All 14 of them said to tell you thanks for all the nifty toys. In case you're wondering, the garbage disposal can digest a wooden broom handle in exactly 7.3 seconds. The metal ones take a bit longer. Other interesting facts include:
-once unraveled, the fibers used to carpet your apartment stretch over 17 miles!
-it is not possible to pick up PBOS (Bosnian radio) in Texas, no matter how many parts you interchange between the stereo, computer, Cuisinart and television
-a ceiling fan will easily support 3 kids under the age of 6, but only 2 over the age of 8
-plugging the phone line from your modem directly into the much more powerful electical outlet will NOT speed up your internet connection. It does, however, create a really neat light show!

Well, that's about all I've translated from their latest letter. Hope this news from home makes your stay in the hospital a bit happier and easier.


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