So you wanna fight me? Ya worthless clusterhead!

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Posted by The Beast on October 25, 2001 at 17:17:04:

Dearest Clusterhead,
It has come to my attention that you are experiencing difficulties with your new or old found dilemma. That's all right, I intended it to be this way.
Looking for answers? Surely you don't think I'll just let you brush me off so easily, I mean, give me some credit, I am the Beast!
And let me tell you, I am not at all pleased with your recents dealings with my other prey. Coming to this site to find strength. Wipe that sheepish grin off of your face too! What are you trying to get away with? These new friends of yours here are really starting to piss me off.
Maybe it would help you to understand why I insist you get away from them. You may think by my writing this letter I fear the organizing of fellow prey? You forget my dear Clusterhead, I am the Beast, and will fight you at every turn!
You see, I am not your typical foe. I am the master of disguise. Maybe not to you, but to those around you. Look what I've already done to the majority of your doctors. I've clouded their minds. This is so easy I have to laugh, I've convinced them that what you're feeling just isn't so. I've trained them to suspect your problem lies in stress, allergies, diet, smoking, alcohol, head traumas and my favorite of favorites ... over reaction Migraines, Tension or Sinus headaches. In fact, I love it when they treat you for these, it just cracks me up.
I know what you're trying to do here, but I can work in other ways myself to combat you. I can work on your friends, relatives, employers and coworkers. Sir Common Headache is one of my favorite allies. I don't mind his getting credit for my horrible deeds. Just the opposite in fact. The joy I feel when you cringe at the sound of them saying how they too have had bad headaches. Oh what a riot! Excuse me, but this one just sends me to the floor in uncontrollable laughter. Are you upset with me my dear Clusterhead? I am the Beast, I could care less how you feel about me, but don't you dare start explaining me to them!
Want to play games with me here? Fine. First go out and find that miracle drug that will cure you. Is it starting to work? Ooooh ... I'm melting ... I'm melting! Not! Yeah, it might work for a bit, but only for some and not always then. I can be a bit of a tease, but this is just too much fun. One of my favorite things to do is give someone just a taste of hope, let them yell out to the world how much better they are feeling, then pull the rug right out from under them, and they are soon back. Call me what you will my little Clusterhead, but you must understand I want complete control.
For me it's like a comedy channel, I like to tune in and watch the fun. My favorites are: Shove the Pepper up your Nose and Blue Cheese in the Mouth. Come on, go ahead, dance in the snow barefoot, drink lake Michigan in a day, take hot showers, suck in that O2! Am I gone? LOL, naw, I may go for a snack whilst this is going on, but I'll be back for the next show.
Hard to tell you how fun this is for me, so get out of here and quit trying to rain on my parade! Oh, by the way, I'm after your friend Kip, I didn't appreciate him giving you that scale for pain measurement. That was sly, but I'll find a way around it, you should too, tell me you had a 10+ or a 10++, heh heh, yeah, that's the ticket!
I'll tell ya what though, just for this instance, we'll use that scale. Got a 9 or a 10? Go Fish! LOL!
Let the show begin! Go ahead, pace all over the place, not doing any good huh? Get on your knees and beg for mercy. Hmmm... still no good? How about squeezing your head as hard as you can? No? I didn't think so. Okay then, go ahead and try to hide, and while alone look at that wall ... yeah ... run your head into it. Come on, give it a few more shots, just for me? Floors are pretty hard too, how about a few head bangers there? Ahh ... thank you. This is wonderful. Let's just do this for a while, say 45 minutes to 4 hours? Thanks, that was sheer plesure to me.
Now we must address a problem. What are you doing here among those who are trying to defeat me? Repeat after me, "No one knows the pain but me!" Come on, say it! Say it damn it! You are not listening to me!
I've told you to stay away from these people. I've told you to get away from that loving wife, that supportive husband. Don't let them try to comfort you. You are starting to make me angry. Okay then, you asked for it, take a shot of this! You should be ashamed of yourself. Look at what you are doing to them. You my Clusterhead are guilty, yes ... guilty! Feel it? Come on now, you must?
Damn! You need to quit sharing with all these people, your numbers are growing rapidly here and now you also organize against me at OUCH. Damn all of you! This kind of sharing is not helping me in my cause. I can't deal with you learning to understand, accept and deal with me. Why are all these people trying to help? Am I not torturing them too, why do they forget about themselves to help you? This isn't fair! I'm supposed to be in control ... oh please stay away from these groups. It's day by day making it harder for me to enjoy my work, it's getting tougher when you unite against me.
Damn you! Damn you OUCH! Where is my respect? I've got the rest of the world in my web, but you guys have got to stop this mutiny! I beg of you, stop supporting each other, stop understanding others, stop finding ways to laugh and stop finding ways to survive!
I'm the Beast! I'm the one!
I'm the Beast! ... I'm the beast ... i'm the beast ... i a beest ... beeeeesss..........

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