my thoughts

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Posted by john on November 03, 2001 at 12:22:38:

In Reply to: 4 CHs in last 18 hrs......this one won,t go the f ck away.... posted by Tim T on November 03, 2001 at 04:58:05:

Hi Tim--- i'm john from down under --- just got back from the pub-------- yes the bloody pub ---- bit pissed --thought i would log on and see what is going on etc. 4 some reason reason ur msg hit me--- that real sense of panic---- dont think i'm being a smart arse--- i'm not. that is what it is though. I have often experienced what i describe as a cluster within a cluster--- 5 ---- 6 ha's a day --- i will handle it ---barley.. 4 weeks pass then its like 20 a day--- 8 too 10's four 8---- 9 days --- a cycle ---perpetual--within the main cycle---thats the fucker that really does me --- i have begged docters 2 admin morph(that will break the mini cycle)--- it breaks this 4 a couple of days. No doc would give me any---one actually laughed at me--- i could have broken up the surgery---true.I was so fuc---- desperate.I eventually went 2 the major hospital in my city ---it is a great hospital--- i would say the doc(if he was) was 21 --- he actually looked up my nose--- must examine you--- cant believe you--- no --AND I MEAN NO MORPH--- I TOLD HIM I WAS GOING STRAIGHT DOWN TOWN & WOULD SCORE SOME HEROIN ON THE STREET --- HE SAID ---DO IT --HEWAS NOT GOING 2 GIVE ME 1 SHOT OF MORPH . I HATE THEM SO MUCH--Ijust hate them.Idon'''t expect anybody 2 understand ch's---i dont --how could they -- but its there presumption of what they think i'm feeling that gets me ---- ah! Two u my ch friend--- you will continue 2 pick yourself up---every time--- even when u think u cant ---u will--there is something else.--- good luck --- write anytime .

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