What my family at ch.com and OUCH had done for me....

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Posted by nancyc on November 03, 2001 at 18:26:10:

I just posted about how nice it has been to be pf....and how much I have enjoyed it..and just yesterday, I believe Jay said he opened his big mouth about being pf...well, I have been cutting back on my topamax because of some side effects I don't like...I just wanna feel normal again...dammnit, I don't wanna be a chronic but I am...just can not seem to accept it though...anyway, all day today I have been shadowing...but guess what??? FOR ONCE and I mean ONCE...in my over 20 years of CLUSTERS...I am NOT AFRAID....I am not scared of the damn beast....I know I am gonna get thru this ...I am gonna beat the damn beast...not because I know the topamax is gonna stop it if I up my dose again, cause it may not...the verap stopped working when I did this but because I know that I have you guys here for me...It is strange how when you know that you are no longer alone with the beast, the fear is not as bad...all I can say is THANK YOU....cause I am not afraid and that is why tonite I can laugh and smile and not get all shook up like I used to when I started shadowing...I love you guys...smiles,nancyc

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