Posted by Charlie on November 14, 2001 at 11:49:58:
You know you are a redneck when:
01. The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your spouse.
02. You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.
03. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
04. You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.
05. Jack Daniels makes your list of "Most Admired
06. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
07. Anyone in your family ever died right after saying, "Hey, watch this"
08. You've got more than one brother named 'Darryl.'
09. You think that Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
10. Your Junior/Senior Prom had a Daycare.
11. You think the last words to The Star Spangled Banner are, "Gentlemen, start your engines."
12. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house
exploded right off its wheels.
13. The bluebook value of your truck goes up and down, depending on how much gas it has in it.
14. You have to go outside to get something out of the 'fridge.
15. One of your kids was born on a pool table.
16. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
17. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
18. Ya can't get married to yer sweetheart 'cause there's a law against it.
19. You dated one of your parents' current spouses in high school.
20. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
21. Your school fight song is "Dueling Banjos."
22. Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.
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