Posted by KK on November 17, 2001 at 11:40:22:
I'm back again and so are the Clusters. I've been dealing with these things for over 10,000 years now. The first 15 were without meds, then I found Imitrex. It's a wonderful drug but no matter when I take it, it always takes me to pain level 10 before it subsides.
This year I thought I would let my neurologist have a try (again). He started me with a Prednisone
Dose pack and Verapimil (240mg). At first it seemed to be working. 5 days and no HA. That didn't last long and I started getting them twice a day (late afternoon and 1:30 AM).
I called him back yesterday so he sent me to the ER for two shots (500mg Depakote and 500 mg Solumedrol). I thought it was going to be a quick 10-minute process I could take care of over lunch. Noooooooo, I was in the ER crash room with an IV in my arm for 3 hours sitting next to a poor man with Alzheimer's and listening to the nurses ask each other what I was doing here, "Oh, he has a headache." How embarrassing! I'll bet if I had a railroad spike hanging out of my eye they wouldn't have been such bitches. Anyway, I didn't even have a headache!
So every nurse who came over to check on me asked, "How's your headache?" I don't have a headache, I'm just here for the shot! I say, "Have you ever heard of Clusters?" Oh yeah, my so and so gets those and Tylenol Extra Strength seems to help if she goes in the bedroom and lies down. Fuck you lady and get the hell out of here.
Last night I can feel one coming on but it's not the same. I know it’s a good one but very dull and slow to progress. Finally it gets bad enough to take the shot. 2mg and ten minutes later, it's getting worse. I push in another 2mg and it's still getting worse and now I want to throw up. I go for the last 2mg's and now the needle is dull. I can't get the f_cking thing in my arm. Finally after ramming it in I hit a blood vessel and blood squirts out everywhere. Snot is running out of my nose, water pouring out of my eye and blood everywhere. I knew my .40 cal S&W was only 10 feet away loaded with hollow points. If it weren't for the insurance benefits my family would loose, last night would have been the day of my last HA.
Today the sun came up, the birds are chirping, my dogs greeted me with their tails wagging and my wife kissed me good morning. I think I'll go unload my gun and hide the ammo.
Better days to all.
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