Posted by Charlie (206.159.160.17) on November 28, 2001 at 17:43:18:
> > > >10 Puns for you.// > > > > > >Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons. > > >The stewardess looks at them and says, "I'm sorry, gentlemen, > > >only one carrion allowed per passenger."// > > > > > >Did you hear that NASA recently put a bunch of Holsteins into > > >low earth orbit? They called it the herd shot 'round the world.// > > > > > >Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to > > >Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in > > >the cotton fields and never amounted to much. The second one, > > >naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils.// > > > > > >Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a > > >fire in the craft, it sank proving once again that you can't > > >have your kayak and heat it, too.// > > > > > >A three legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He > > >sidles up to the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who > > >shot my paw."// > > > > > >Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a > > >root canal? > > > He wanted to transcend dental medication.// > > > > > >A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were > > >standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament > > >victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the > > >office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as > > >they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts > > >boasting in an open foyer."// > > > > > >A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them > > >goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal." The other goes to > > >a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends > > >a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the > > >picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a > > >picture of Amal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If > > >you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."// > > > > > >These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they > > >opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone > > >liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across > > >town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good > > >fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and > > >begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival > > >florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious > > >thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the > > >friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they > > >didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving > > >that: Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.// > > > > > > > > >And finally, There was a person who sent ten different puns to > > >friends, in the hope that at least one of the puns would make > > >them laugh. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.//Chortle....Charlie :^)