If I seriously considered suicide, wouldn't be here to write

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Posted by Victor ( on December 01, 2001 at 09:47:44:

about, even though I thought about it, guess what I really wanted was just the pain to go away. Would have divulged my deepest secrets if that would have worked. The kind of torture with CH's would make any spy talk. There was always hope when trying a new med, but that quickly led into despair. Going into shadows again, using A&D, Ora Jel, and bacitracin to keep my mucus membranes flowing and clear plus avoiding known triggers. So far so good, I have tried just about every kind of prescription spray, all have been more of an irritant than a cure, the kinder gentler method has been far more effective.

Also started taking prednisone, one 5 mg pill on a Monday and another on Thursday, did feel one coming on, but five minutes of O2 broke it before it started. Ha, when I first started taking prednisone, the doctor prescribed three 20 mg pills a day. Got into such a high that caught up on a bunch of chores that I let go for months working 23 hours straight, slept for about 30 minutes then woke up roaring to go for another 23 hours. But that quickly wore off.

My main neuro won't even prescribe prednisone, one of his patients had some kind of major problems with it. But I find it very effective with just small boosts every 3-4 days. It took me 25 years to learn this about me. Think if I knew what I was in for 30 years ago, probably would have blown my brains out. But maybe if I used a more kindly gentle approach, life would have been much better.

Ha, could retire now if I had all the money I spent on drugs, what a waste.

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