I regret to inform you

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Posted by Todd ( on December 15, 2001 at 10:34:55:

In Reply to: Simplistically speaking... posted by Linda Howell on December 14, 2001 at 23:43:09:

that in my non-clinical, wholly worthless and never-so-humble opinion, you most likely suffer not only from CH, but also from Charliepacositosis, an extremely common, debilitating but unfortunately non-fatal disorder which results in chronic grumpiness.

Your best hope for treatment is to move to Virginia and enroll in the Luray Men's (and Linda) Social Club's twelve step program:

1. Drive to the Clubhouse.
2. Exit car, grunting with the movement.
3. Plop down in an Adirondack rocking chair.
4. Grunt.
5. Remove medicinal libation from its brown paper sack wrapping.
6. Untwist the cap.
7. Grunt.
8. Shout "Fucking idiot!"
9. Stand up, return to vehicle to retrieve forgotten glass.
9. Grunt
10.Return to rocker
11. Pour libation into glass after first blowing into glass to dislodge at least a small portion of the accumulated dust.
12. Slowly consume contents while engaging in a general bitch session about all the ills of the world, blaming same on young punks who wear clothes 6 sizes too big, don't work, drive hideously done up, lowered imports with the tires sticking way out of the wheelwells while blasting incomprehensible noise over stereos that cost more than the car they are in and are probably the genetically mutated result of a lifetime of eating fortified, enriched Wonder Bread.


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