Posted by nancyc (22.214.171.124) on December 22, 2001 at 13:52:54:
In Reply to: suicide posted by Stevey on December 20, 2001 at 19:22:09:
wish I could say I have never tried it...wish I could say it still doesn't cross my mind...but to say it doesn't, would be a lie. Yet, today I chose not to act on it...
I do know one thing though...it is not because I am weak or because I do not love God or my family...it is because of a thing called depression...If you have never been there..count your blessings cause it is not a fun place to visit...I never understood depression until I experienced it...Now, i do...That is why I am grateful to friends at ch.com...because I can talk about my feelings here and not be afraid of being critizied. See, it does not matter that I am an RN...it does not matter that I work in the mental health field...no one is exempt...depression can happen to anyone...I am grateful though that I had friends here that have encouraged me to reach out for help and get on medication for it...Being chronic is not easy... neither is being episodic...being a clusterhead is just damn hard....When people get depressed, they sometimes choose to end it, I think, not because it is the easy way out but because they just can not stand the way they feel any longer...If anyone out there is going thru this, I encourage them to let someone on this site know what is going on with you...Feel free to email me anytime...because I plan to beat this thing and have a good life again...and you can too..When I think of suicide now, I know it is not an option..I want to live, even if it means experimenting with several meds for depression before I find one that works...I want to live! .God bless..smiles,nancyc
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