A New Year's joke or two.....

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Posted by Elizabeth ( on December 31, 2001 at 22:38:13:

Happy New Year to all!! A few jokes for you:

Top Ten Slogans Being Considered By Viagra:
1. Viagra, It's "Whaazzzzz Up!"
2. Viagra, The quicker pecker upper.
3. Viagra, Like a rock!
4. Viagra, When it absolutely, positively has to be there tonight.
5. Viagra, Be all that you can be.
6. Viagra, Reach out and touch someone.
7. Viagra, Tastes great! -- More filling!
8. Viagra, We bring good things to life!
9. This is your p*nis....This is your p*nis on drugs. Any questions?
10. Viagra, Strong enough for a man but made for a woman.

A guy goes into a bar wearing a shirt open at the collar, and is met by a bouncer who tells him he must wear a necktie to gain admission. So the guy goes out to his car and he looks around for a necktie and discovers that he just doesn't have one. He sees a set of jumper cables in his trunk. In desperation he ties these around his neck, and manages to fashion a fairly acceptable looking know and lets the ends dangle free. He goes back to the restaurant and the bouncer carefully looks him over, and then says, "Well, OK, I guess you can come in -- just don't start anything."

An Amish lady is trotting down the road in her horse and buggy when she is pulled over by a cop.
"Ma'am," he says, "I'm not going to ticket you, but you have a broken reflector on your buggy."
"Oh, I'll tell my husband, Jacob, as soon as I get home."
"That's fine," he replied. "Another thing, I don't like the way that one rein loops across the horse's back and around one of his balls. I consider that animal abuse. Have your husband take care of that right away!"
Later that day, the lady is home telling her husband about the encounter with the cop. "Well, dear, what exactly did he say?"
"He said the reflector was broken."
"I can fix that in two minutes. What else?"
"I'm not sure, Jacob. Something about the emergency brake...."

Best to all of you in the coming year(s)....

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