Posted by Rachel (216.46.198.201) on February 02, 2002 at 13:06:01:
Consumer Labels:
On a Sear's hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.
(Hmmm! And that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
On a bag of Fritos:: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."
(And that would be how???)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion:Defrost."
(But, it's "just" a suggestion.)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down."
(Well, duh, a bit late, huh!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating."
(And you thought????)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."
(But wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could get those 5 year-olds with
head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (And I'm taking this because???)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(As opposed to what?)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use."
(Now...somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
"Warning: contains nuts."
(Talk about a news flash!)
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, uh, fly Delta?)
On a child's Superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
Taxes are done! Yea! Six more weeks of winter - plus the snow melting. We'll be tanning in the snow here, Nancy! XO - Rachel