Posted by drummer (209.105.134.137) on November 21, 1999 at 05:26:25:
In Reply to: giving up... posted by Mr. Wizer on November 21, 1999 at 03:32:54:
Hi Sean,
I’ve been chronic since the beginning. The beginning started 16 years ago on November 11th. Not a day has gone by since then, that I have not thought about a different way to make myself stop existing.
I was told to keep a journal of my cluster attacks too. My journal is depressing also. The frequency and severity of my attacks goes up during this time of year just like yours. It always has. I’ve always figured that it was part of a cycle within a cycle kind of thing. “YA-fucking-HOO for us chronics”!
SOME of the medicines that I have taken in the past CAN do damage to one’s body and eventually stop working sometimes. I figure when faced with the decision of putting a gun in my mouth OR eating a couple of pills; so far I’ve opted for eating the pills. I’ve also enjoyed shooting up the Imitrex. YA-HOO!
I will let you in on a secret though. Listen. There is this web-site called CH.com. You can go to it anytime of day or night after you have completed the terror of a cluster attack. You can then sit down at your computer and type your experiences with cluster headaches. There will be real live people there that KNOW EXACTY how you feel AND they will type back to you. It is better than the old days when you were all alone. And I'm fairly certain that it's easier to type when you exist as compared to when you don't exist. Although I have never not existed before. At least as far as I know. YA-HOO!