Posted by Dave (152.163.201.204) on March 11, 2000 at 09:02:57:
...one more time to feel the pain.
I'M SICK AND TIRED OF BEING.......
SICK AND TIRED!
Well, I finally got in to see the neurologist.
I bet I could relate this episode and many would
be able to switch places with me and say...
"No shit!....Been there."
ACT 1: (and only one)
Patient enters Dr.'s office rolling his eyes as the
Dr. asks, "And how are WE? these days?"
Obviously having forgot you called him because you
were in a cluster cycle.
Dr: "Okay, let's see...you were in here last march...
I gave you Sansert, Indo...bla bla bla...."
(Your attention is diverted as you notice the new
letter holder with the logo for Depakote)
Dr: "How did these work for you?"
Dave: "They didn't, just made me very sick on top
of the clusters...."
Dr: " I see......."
(Okay, count with me in your head...10..9...8...)
Dr: " Well then, what did you do?"
(..7....6....5....4.....)
Dave: "I quit taking them!"
(...3....2....1...!!)
Dr: " I think you should try Depakote!"
(Slap myself upside the head....Do'h! When am I gonna
realize, if I could just make a sneak pass by these
doctors offices and glance at the new posters or the
cute little logo toys on their desk....
I could save us both a lot of time?)
Dave: " Well Doc, we've been experimenting with drugs
for the last 3 years. None have worked. I was hoping
we could talk about other possibilities?"
Dr: "Other possibilities? You don't want the drugs?"
Dave: " No...I thought we could try to find the source
or cause of the clusters...."
Dr: "If you don't want me to give you drugs, what are
WE doing here?"
(sasafrassumsucaruccum!)
Dave: "I've got some Imitrex I can take if the pain
gets to be beyond my control..."
Dr: (waving his hand in disbelief)"Oh...that stuffs
no good...you need Depakote."
Dave: "Doc, I was really wanting to explore alternatives. Like possible chemical, element or
mineral imbalances."
Dr: "Where do you come up with this?"
Dave: "Well, I've been doing a lot of research on the
web and...."
Dr: (cutting off patient) "The web!? why anyone can
post anything there, doesn't make it right."
Dave: "I didn't say that, I'm trying to tell you I've
met several other CH sufferers who are also looking
for answers instead of temporary relief."
Dr: " What do they know? Did you know there is no
known cure for CH?"
(No shit???? Wow! This guys good! Dang, I must be an
idiot!)
Dave: "Could we at least discuss some testing on
element levels in the blood, or even serotonin?"
Dr: "Oh...serotonin...that's the latest fad. You need
to take the drugs til we find one that works. I'll
give you Depakote and add in Neurontin..."
Dave: "Are you saying you'll only give me drugs, I told
you they have all only made me sick on top of the CH."
Dr: " What do you mean by sick?"
Dave: " Weak, physically and more important..mentally."
Dr: "Mentally?"
Dave: "Yes, suicidal at times. And, I don't think that
way ever...."
Dr: "Oh...(let me just paraphrase here)...whatever!"
Dave: "Huh????"
Dr: " Do you want these drugs?"
Dave: "Can I at least bring in my fiancee and see if
together we want to try that route again?"
Dr: "We've already used up a half hour, I don't think
that's necessary."
( A half hour????....maybe 5 to 8 minutes!)
The doctor gets up implying our session is over. We
smile at each other with the look of "you idiot" firmly
directed at each other. Him with his "Don't come back
unless I can drug you up", and me with my " Thanks for
listening you dumb prick!" And both knew we'd never see
each other again. ************
For those of you who don't know me, please understand
I'm not against drug treatments. It does work for some.
Just not me. By going drug free this cycle, the pain
is still there, but I still at least have mental strength to battle it, which I didn't have with the
meds. That's just my experience. I'm not advocating
against the use of medications. I want to search for
cause and cure..not cover ups. I do believe it is
related to imbalances in our systems and is associated
with stress of some kind. A stress or anxiety beyond
our control due to these imbalances. I think the pain
is a warning sign from our bodies that there is an imbalance of some type, and so is the depression, stress or anxiety. Finding out what exactly is wrong
with us is up to us. I've had my last dance with the
doctors. (For the person who bad mouthed OUCH.....
get a clue! A solution is up to us together). If we
travel down the wrong path now and then...GREAT! At
least we can start eliminating areas. I will continue
on my own now with my theories, and share what I find,
and see if there is anything there or not.
My Best to ALL of you,
Dave