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Topic: Cycle Ending...Dealing With Paranoia? (Read 359 times) |
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Asia
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The only constant in the world is change.- I. Arie
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Cycle Ending...Dealing With Paranoia?
« on: Nov 10th, 2006, 1:35am » |
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Once again, I will say thank you for the feedback on this site!
I have a problem. I realize that I am now very paranoid. I am only getting mild shadows, and the tips about coffee have done wonders to stop them in their tracks (THANK YOU!!!). I believe that the worst is over.
But...I have been to the following places outside of the house in the past four months: 3 trips to the grocery store, several short trips to gas stations (3 minute drive), a poetry venue, and about 10 trips to the ER.
I'm scared. Three times in the past four months, I gave it my ol' five day rule (no headache, they're gone), and never made it to day three. I even had a "break" in the cycle for about 2 1/2 weeks, when they switched sides. I'm afraid that as soon as I allow myself to step out that door and get into my car, be happy about seeing friends, start thinking about going back to work...
The CHs have just never lasted this long. I don't think I'll make it if I try to go back to "normal" and it starts again. I know that I may deal with this for the rest of my life, and I'm glad I've found this resource...I am also even trying to come up with a better "plan" for when they return. But I can't seem to walk out of that door.
I don't want to talk to someone that doesn't understand. I need to hear from people who have been there. What are some things I can do to ease my way back? I'm still taking the Prednisone for about another week...should I wait? I know I sound like a pitiful basket case...but I feel like a pitiful basket case.
Asia
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| « Last Edit: Nov 10th, 2006, 1:37am by Asia » |
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George_J
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Re: Cycle Ending...Dealing With Paranoia?
« Reply #1 on: Nov 10th, 2006, 2:01am » |
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Go out the door and seize life. You're worrying about the future--the future does not exist. Only the present exists.
You're experienced now--a cluster warrior, and not a cluster sufferer. A sufferer is a victim of circumstance. A warrior turns circumstance to her advantage. Your advantage is that you've seen and felt a taste of hell that most people will never imagine, and yet you've survived, growing stronger each time. You know now what it can do, but you also know the worst it can do. It does this, but nothing further. There is no hell beyond hell. You know it. You're stronger now. Can such a person succumb to timidity? I don't think so.
Letting CH rule your life is to let it defeat you. Go out and grab life with both hands, Asia. To hell with the beast.
If it comes, it comes.
One day at a time, one hit at a time.
Best wishes,
George
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Ah! The foreigners put on such airs
Wearing the tangerine suits
And their harlequin eyes.
The pain they inspire
Draws in harmonica melodies
And the feathers of birds
Which flame up at their touch.
It all comes to light in the sheer
Debonair.
(Ellen)
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sandie99
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Wish it, dream it, do it - inspite the pain!
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Re: Cycle Ending...Dealing With Paranoia?
« Reply #2 on: Nov 10th, 2006, 4:08am » |
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Asia,
I understand how you feel very well. 
When I was PF after being chronic, the PF time felt unreal.
But believe me, tou have deserved every second of the PF time you get. Enjoy it. Embrace it. It might take a while until your life in 100 per cent back to what it was before ch came around, but be gentle to yourself and let yourself take that time.
If "what if it comes back"- thought enters your mind, just tell it: then I will handle it and live your life.
We're always here for you when you need it.
PF days,
Sanna
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CH happends, Live anyway! PF days to us all!
"Do what you can and let God take care of the rest. Leave your heart wide open and always wish for the best" (Sanna Hillu)
"No matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible" (Marketa Irglova)
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bothofus
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It's got to get better !
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Re: Cycle Ending...Dealing With Paranoia?
« Reply #3 on: Nov 10th, 2006, 5:00am » |
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Asia, were you taking imitrex shots for the hits? Still have some? Carrying a trex kit with you is like telling the beast you still have a loaded gun ready to kill it. It might give you some peace of mind knowing that you have your weapon with you.
Enjoy the pf time!
Carl
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E-Double
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Are we ourselves?
  
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Re: Cycle Ending...Dealing With Paranoia?
« Reply #4 on: Nov 10th, 2006, 8:56am » |
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breathe
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I can't believe that I have to bang my
Head against this wall again
But the blows they have just a little more
Space in-between them
Gonna take a breath and try again.
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thomas
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"Hit like a phillips head into my brain."
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Re: Cycle Ending...Dealing With Paranoia?
« Reply #5 on: Nov 10th, 2006, 9:10am » |
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This is where the prozac part of my treatment helps me. But you have to really try to forget what you just went through and get on with your life, ejoy the pf times because they are rare, take advantage of the goodness and freedom you now will have because your cycle is over. You will have another one, but deal with it when it comes, not now. If you live your life in fear you have let CH rule you and will be a slave forever. Be strong. As Zaira always said "Stay hard". This battle is over, relish the victory and celebrate.
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Religion and sex are powerplays. Manipulate the people for the money they pay. Selling skin, selling God, the numbers look the same on their credit cards. Triptans cause rebounds. Learn it, believe it, live it. I use triptans as the absolute LAST RESORT when treating my CH.
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Charlotte
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Re: Cycle Ending...Dealing With Paranoia?
« Reply #6 on: Nov 10th, 2006, 9:36am » |
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keep one or two cans of red bull or starbucks double shot expresso in your purse, and add one activity back at a time. Think of it like moving to a new neighborhood or getting a new job and it will be easier.
A low dose of Paxil has helped me before, once for over a year, and once for 6 weeks. During the longer period, I went down to .5 mg Paxil and found it worked best to take the edge off so I could drive, so that is also what I used during the second shorter time period.
Good luck.
Charlotte
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Bob_Johnson
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Re: Cycle Ending...Dealing With Paranoia?
« Reply #7 on: Nov 10th, 2006, 1:04pm » |
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It's not paranoia but a type of anxiety.
Problem is the longer it goes unchecked the worse it tends to become so suggest you:
1. Seriously consider: http://www.ouch-us.org/chgeneral/painvsuffering.htm
2. Ask our doc for a small batch of anti-anxiety med to help you regain your capacity to get moving. This is not is not a permanent addition to your life but will give sufficient relief that you can CHOOSE to move.
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Bob Johnson
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Asia
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The only constant in the world is change.- I. Arie
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Re: Cycle Ending...Dealing With Paranoia?
« Reply #8 on: Nov 10th, 2006, 3:57pm » |
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Unfortunately, I am not under a doc's care (no insurance yet) to get meds that may help to deal...but I believe in the self.
I needed to hear all of your words, they echo what I know inside. It is making that first step, believing in it, quieting the negative mantras that have permeated my thoughts while dealing with this over the past months.
Well, I am about to take a shower, get dressed, and...do something. I don't even know what or where, and I won't overdo it, but I am going to make a small effort today. Then tomorrow, I will make that effort +1. Recently, I also read that all adversity should be embraced equally with the good in our lives, as all of this is part of learning and what makes us stronger, so now I am delving into myself to find how I can use the beast to make me a warrior.
So, thank you all again, and I will keep you posted. In the mean time, I think it may also be important for me to read the boards here and find what I can give back. Your voices sound firm, and maybe if I do what you've done for me, I will find more of my own strength.
A
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keithr1024
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brainstew anyone?
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Re: Cycle Ending...Dealing With Paranoia?
« Reply #9 on: Nov 12th, 2006, 9:04am » |
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yup i know how you feel it's a scary thing getting hit with out your o2 i some how maneged to keep my job through this cycle (i work alone all day)but freinds are giving me a little guff about becoming a hermit only three pepole have ever seen me get hit and i quess if you don't see it then thier just words...i really hope you put the beast to bed and can get back to life but if he wants to stay up i know were all strong enough to get through this you can do it don't let the beast win were all here to support and help we know your worries and as long as your here you got freinds that care keep on keeping on pfdan
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