Author |
Topic: Funny Bumper Stickers (Read 1247 times) |
|
broomhilda
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
Ride it!
Gender: 
Posts: 2533
|
 |
Funny Bumper Stickers
« on: Sep 6th, 2004, 12:03am » |
 Quote  Modify
|
Bitchy Bumper Stickers
1.Constipated People Don't Give A Shit
2. Practice Safe Sex, Go Screw Yourself
3. If You Drink, Don't Park; Accidents Cause People
4. If You Don't Believe In Oral Sex, Keep Your Mouth Shut
5. Please Tell Your Pants Its Not Polite To Point
6. If That Phone Was Up Your Butt, Maybe You Could Drive A Little Better.
7. My Kid Got Your Honor Roll Student Pregnant.
8. Thank You For Pot Smoking.
9. To All You Virgins, Thanks For Nothing..
10. If At First You Don't Succeed .. Blame Someone Else, then Seek Counseling.
11. Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying "No Hard Feelings"
12. If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.
13. Horn Broken ... Watch For Finger.
14. If You're Not A Hemorrhoid, Get Off My Ass..
15. You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me.
16.The Earth Is Full --- Go Home.
17. I Have The Body Of A God ... Buddha.
18. So Many Pedestrians --- So Little Time.
19. If We Quit Voting, Will They All Go Away?
20. Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway.
21. Cover Me, I'm Changing Lanes.
22. I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person.
23. You! Out Of The Gene Pool!
24. I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To.
25. It's Been Lovely, But I Have To Scream Now.
26. [Seen On The Back Of A Biker's Vest] If You Can Read This, The Bitch Fell Off.
27. If Sex Is A Pain In The Ass, Then You're Doing It Wrong.
28. Fight Crime --- Shoot Back!
29. Remember Folks --- Stop Lights timed for 35mph are also timed for 70mph.
30. [Reported to be seen In a Restaurant's Window]
Guys --- No Shirt, No Service
Gals --- No Shirt, No Charge
31. If Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why Does My Mailman Look Like Jabba the Hut?
32. Body By Nautilus --- Brain By Mattel.
33. Cat --- The Other White Meat.
34. Caution --- Driver Legally Blonde!
35. Don't Be Sexist --- Broads Hate That.
36. Heart Attacks ... God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends.
37. How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He Is Lost?
38. Money Isn't Everything, But It Sure Keeps The Kids In Touch.
39. Saw It ... Wanted It .. Had A Fit ... Got It!
|
|
 IP Logged |
Suck it up Princess...
|
|
|
BobG
New Board Hall of Famer
Gender: 
Posts: 5747
|
 |
Re: Funny Bumper Stickers
« Reply #1 on: Sep 6th, 2004, 4:00am » |
Quote Modify
|
#6 is right on. 
People with cell phones should be shot dead!
All the others are funny. Especially #39. That's my grandsons. Spoiled little brats. 
|
|
IP Logged |
Stay stressed. Never relax. Never sleep. Ever.
|
|
|
Jaime
New Board Newbie
Is this your ice pick stuck in my skull?
Gender:
Posts: 47
|
|
Re: Funny Bumper Stickers
« Reply #2 on: Sep 6th, 2004, 7:28am » |
Quote Modify
|
I have some bumper stickers on my car I really like. Here are my favorites;
"When Jesus said 'Love your enemies' I think he probably meant 'Don't Kill Them'"
The problems we face today will not be solved by the minds that created them.
|
|
IP Logged |
|
|
|
clarence
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
Wake up
 
Gender:
Posts: 1020
|
|
Re: Funny Bumper Stickers
« Reply #3 on: Sep 6th, 2004, 7:36am » |
Quote Modify
|
With reference to number 36, I saw one that answers it:
If we aren't supposed to eat animals why are they made out of meat?
I liked that one.
Casey
|
|
IP Logged |
NY Yankees Suck!!!
"Bart, don't make fun of Grad students. They just made a terrible life decision," Marge Simpson
Where I live: http://rainfallsoneveryone.com
|
|
|
IndianaJohn
New Board Hall of Famer
Into the jaws of the Beast we ride!
Gender:
Posts: 643
|
|
Re: Funny Bumper Stickers
« Reply #4 on: Sep 6th, 2004, 8:34am » |
Quote Modify
|
How about:
Don't bother explaining because I don't care.
|
|
IP Logged |
Did my brains fall out or is this headache over?
|
|
|
Redrum
New Board Junior
Doh!
Gender:
Posts: 65
|
|
Re: Funny Bumper Stickers
« Reply #5 on: Sep 7th, 2004, 10:55am » |
Quote Modify
|
....Are you out of blinker fluid?....
|
|
IP Logged |
It's hard to be an optimist when the glass is shattered on the floor!
|
|
|
vietvet2tours
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
Team MOOSE DROOL Stinky Stuff on a Hook Prostaff
Gender:
Posts: 1499
|
|
Re: Funny Bumper Stickers
« Reply #6 on: Sep 7th, 2004, 5:19pm » |
Quote Modify
|
save a mouse eat a p-ssy
|
|
IP Logged |
Kill em all let God sort em out
|
|
|
Biker
New Board Old Timer
OUCH!!!!!!!!!!!
Gender:
Posts: 268
|
|
Re: Funny Bumper Stickers
« Reply #7 on: Sep 9th, 2004, 10:33pm » |
Quote Modify
|
Only users loose drugs
Rehab is for quitters
|
|
IP Logged |
Ride it like ya stole it.
|
|
|
alleyoop
New Board Hall of Famer
Wake me up when it's all over.
 
Gender:
Posts: 1143
|
|
Re: Funny Bumper Stickers
« Reply #8 on: Sep 10th, 2004, 12:25am » |
Quote Modify
|
Seen on an old farm truck in south Georgia shortly before the state voted in the lottery:
"Legalize Gambling! Why should farmers have all the fun?"
Seen on a new convertible Mercedes Benz being driven by a beautiful blonde:
"Not All Blondes Are Dumb!"
The bumper sticker had been placed on the bumper upside-down!
..................................alley
|
|
IP Logged |
I know that the Good Lord won't put any more on you than you can stand, but sometimes I wish He weren't quite so PROUD of ME!
|
|
|
unsolved1
Guest
|
|
Re: Funny Bumper Stickers
« Reply #9 on: Sep 13th, 2004, 2:21am » |
Quote Modify
 Remove
|
My sister actually has the #13 bumper sticker on her car now !!
Unsolved
|
|
IP Logged |
|
|
|
Jeepgun
Guest
|
|
Re: Funny Bumper Stickers
« Reply #10 on: Sep 22nd, 2004, 9:58pm » |
Quote Modify
Remove
|
On my Jeep: "God was my copilot but we crashed in the mountains and I had to eat him." and it features a sheepishly smiling happy face, dabbing his mouth with a napkin. 
The other one says simply, "Don't Be A Dick."
<----Going to Hell
How about a few more?
"Asphalt is not a rectal disorder."
"When I grow up, I wanna be Barbie. (The bitch has EVERYTHING!)"
"My Jeep is not an SUV and your SUV is not a Jeep!"
"Don't Follow Me: You Won't Make It."
"It used to be sex, drugs, and rock 'n' roll. Now it's beer, the old lady, and the television."
"Keep honking. I'm just reloading."
My front license plate: Black letters on a plain white plate: STFU
|
|
IP Logged |
|
|
|
BobG
New Board Hall of Famer
Gender:
Posts: 5747
|
|
Re: Funny Bumper Stickers
« Reply #11 on: Sep 23rd, 2004, 12:49am » |
Quote Modify
|
"My Jeep is not an SUV and your SUV is not a Jeep!"
|
|
IP Logged |
Stay stressed. Never relax. Never sleep. Ever.
|
|
|
Jeepgun
Guest
|
|
Re: Funny Bumper Stickers
« Reply #12 on: Sep 23rd, 2004, 7:21am » |
Quote Modify
Remove
|
How in the...? What the....? LMAO!! So many grossly stupid people, so little time to laugh at them all... LOL!
|
|
IP Logged |
|
|
|
ExplodingEyeBall
New Board Hall of Famer
I can't think of anything clever to put here.
Gender:
Posts: 2589
|
|
Re: Funny Bumper Stickers
« Reply #13 on: Oct 1st, 2004, 11:59am » |
Quote Modify
|
My bosses bumper sticker....
Where are we going? Why am I in this handbascket?
|
|
IP Logged |
Just poke out my eye and get it over with!!!
|
|
|
ArCane
New Board Old Timer
Onward through the fog
Gender:
Posts: 312
|
|
Re: Funny Bumper Stickers
« Reply #14 on: Oct 1st, 2004, 12:23pm » |
Quote Modify
|
I saw a good bumper sticker the other day it said:
"Warning: In case of Rapture this car will be unmanned."
|
|
IP Logged |
Alchemy’s First Law of Equivalent Exchange: To obtain, something of equal value must be lost.
|
|
|
Jeepgun
Guest
|
|
Re: Funny Bumper Stickers
« Reply #15 on: Oct 1st, 2004, 12:27pm » |
Quote Modify
Remove
|
Um... Were they driving a nice car?
|
|
IP Logged |
|
|
|
inyoureye
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Veteran
Thank you to the site owners/creators
Gender:
Posts: 117
|
|
Re: Funny Bumper Stickers
« Reply #16 on: Nov 10th, 2004, 6:54pm » |
Quote Modify
|
Eat a vegetarian!
|
|
IP Logged |
Whether you think you can
or think you can't,.......
you're probably right.
|
|
|
PittsburghJoe
New Board Old Timer
Go away pain!
Gender:
Posts: 447
|
|
Re: Funny Bumper Stickers
« Reply #17 on: Nov 11th, 2004, 9:35am » |
Quote Modify
|
In case of Rapture: Can I have your car?
Jesus is coming. Look busy!
|
| « Last Edit: Nov 11th, 2004, 9:36am by PittsburghJoe » |
IP Logged |
Nothing worth having comes without some kind of fight. Gotta kick at the darkness till it bleeds daylight. - Bruce Cockburn, "Lovers in a Dangerous Time"
|
|
|
LeLimey
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
OUCH-US - Less "ME" and more "WE"
Gender:
Posts: 11720
|
|
Re: Funny Bumper Stickers
« Reply #18 on: Nov 11th, 2004, 9:39am » |
Quote Modify
|
I was grinning before I opened this thread knowing what was coming! Thank you all for a thumping good giggle!!
|
|
IP Logged |
The arsehole I'm divorcing needs to get a life and stop stalking mine
|
|
|
AussieBrian
New Board Hall of Famer
Got beer?
Gender:
Posts: 1695
|
|
Re: Funny Bumper Stickers
« Reply #19 on: Nov 11th, 2004, 6:38pm » |
Quote Modify
|
"Honk if you've never seen an Uzi"
|
|
IP Logged |
Vulcrania horrendus - twice daily, then two at night in lieu of sleep.
|
|
|
sandie99
New Board Hall of Famer
Wish it, dream it, do it - inspite the pain!
Gender:
Posts: 10429
|
|
Re: Funny Bumper Stickers
« Reply #20 on: Nov 12th, 2004, 2:58am » |
Quote Modify
|
Nice start to my busy day!
Thanks.
|
|
IP Logged |
CH happends, Live anyway! PF days to us all!
"Do what you can and let God take care of the rest. Leave your heart wide open and always wish for the best" (Sanna Hillu)
"No matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible" (Marketa Irglova)
|
|
|
|
|
|
Home
Help
Search
Members
Member Map
Login
Register
Reply
Notify of replies
Send Topic
Print
test rss