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Topic: Goofy Local News Headlines (Read 503 times) |
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Kris_in_SJ
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Goofy Local News Headlines
« on: Jan 6th, 2006, 8:21pm » |
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I know you all can come up with some "zingers."
Our local publisher believes in placing a local news story on the front page - regardless of what else is happening in the world.
Last night's newspaper headline .....
"South Haven Officials Don't Know Why the Sewer Smells So Bad"
LMAO!
What you got?
Kris
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I'm a small woman in small town being chased by a VERY BIG BEAST!
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Jonny
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Re: Goofy Local News Headlines
« Reply #1 on: Jan 6th, 2006, 8:41pm » |
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Intoxicated "gentleman" struggled with police before arrest"
Politician arrested for kick backs. 
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It is up to YOU to educate yourself and then help your doctor plan your treatment. If you just sit down in front of your doctor and say "make me better" you are setting yourself up for a great deal of pain.
- Guiseppi
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Kevin_M
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Re: Goofy Local News Headlines
« Reply #2 on: Jan 6th, 2006, 9:38pm » |
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on Jan 6th, 2006, 8:41pm, Jonny wrote:Intoxicated "gentleman" struggled with police before arrest"
Politician arrested for kick backs. |
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Intoxicated "gentleman" gets behind his local politicians and shows them what "real" kick backs are before being arrested by police.
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vig
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Re: Goofy Local News Headlines
« Reply #3 on: Jan 6th, 2006, 10:15pm » |
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well Kris?
does the sewer really smell that bad?
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never, Never, NEVER quit. -Winston Churchill
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Jonny
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Re: Goofy Local News Headlines
« Reply #4 on: Jan 6th, 2006, 10:18pm » |
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"Ted Kennedy denies knowing woman was in car"
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It is up to YOU to educate yourself and then help your doctor plan your treatment. If you just sit down in front of your doctor and say "make me better" you are setting yourself up for a great deal of pain.
- Guiseppi
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AussieBrian
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Re: Goofy Local News Headlines
« Reply #5 on: Jan 6th, 2006, 11:11pm » |
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"Policeman shot in southern suburbs."
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Vulcrania horrendus - twice daily, then two at night in lieu of sleep.
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maffumatt
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Re: Goofy Local News Headlines
« Reply #6 on: Jan 7th, 2006, 12:13am » |
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man arrested for huffing gold paint in Walmart parking lot. Comes with mugshot.........in a town of maybe 11ooo people.
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Jasmyn
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Re: Goofy Local News Headlines
« Reply #7 on: Jan 7th, 2006, 3:55am » |
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Flies in Food? It's summer, so expect it.
and
Aussie chief sticks up for men in middle.
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Jazz 
Madness is proclaimed by society’s inability to accept its own infallibility
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PollyPocket
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Re: Goofy Local News Headlines
« Reply #8 on: Jan 7th, 2006, 8:13am » |
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From the Life section:
"She's too old to say 'ahhhhhh' "
Almost makes you wonder what she's doing 
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“Life is all about timing... the unreachable becomes reachable, the unavailable become available, the unattainable... attainable. Have the patience, wait it out It's all about timing.” - Stacey Charter
"If I don't remember it happening, it never happened. " - Tori
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Charlie
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Re: Goofy Local News Headlines
« Reply #9 on: Jan 7th, 2006, 6:13pm » |
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Many years ago; before a lot of you existed; during the Love Canal mess by Hooker Chemical Co. and others in the Niagara Falls area, our local paper had this one:
"State Sues Hooker Over Love Dump" 
Charlie
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There is nothing more satisfying than being shot at without result---Winston Churchill
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Kevin_M
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Re: Goofy Local News Headlines
« Reply #10 on: Jan 7th, 2006, 9:36pm » |
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"Howard Stern ready to talk dirty Monday on Sirius"
...meanwhile, other longhairs wearing attitudes are still turning tricks on the New York streets.
Sirius Trixin'
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| « Last Edit: Jan 7th, 2006, 10:58pm by Kevin_M » |
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BobG
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Re: Goofy Local News Headlines
« Reply #11 on: Jan 8th, 2006, 3:15am » |
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Here in Vegas a man robbed a shoe store and while running across the parking lot dropped his cell phone. A witness to the scene saw the phone and took it to the shoe store. While the police were at the shoe store investigating the robbery the bad guy called his own number to see if anyone had found his phone. The police, without identifying themselves, said they had it and he could come get it. The bad guy was arrested a few minutes later.
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Stay stressed. Never relax. Never sleep. Ever.
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Jonny
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Re: Goofy Local News Headlines
« Reply #12 on: Jan 8th, 2006, 7:08am » |
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Goofy headlines were invented in Vegas
BTW: Who is the dumbass in the wheelchair above?
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It is up to YOU to educate yourself and then help your doctor plan your treatment. If you just sit down in front of your doctor and say "make me better" you are setting yourself up for a great deal of pain.
- Guiseppi
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Kevin_M
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
withered branches grow green again.
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Posts: 6184
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Re: Goofy Local News Headlines
« Reply #13 on: Jan 8th, 2006, 7:43am » |
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The "johns" in the yellow car got an eyefull while cruisin', with big satisfied smiles.
Trix are for kids, silly rabbit
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| « Last Edit: Jan 8th, 2006, 8:28am by Kevin_M » |
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Melissa
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Re: Goofy Local News Headlines
« Reply #14 on: Jan 8th, 2006, 8:03am » |
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on Jan 8th, 2006, 7:08am, Jonny wrote:
BTW: Who is the dumbass in the wheelchair above? |
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I dunno, but I bet you that had to fucken HURT!!!
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