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Topic: pure vent, skip if ya want (Read 555 times) |
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Jezebel
New Board Newbie
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pure vent, skip if ya want
« on: Jan 20th, 2006, 11:45am » |
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sick of tears and snot running down my face
sick of not sleeping
sick of frightening people around me
sick of missing work and losing money
sick of the sadness in the eyes of the boy who loves me
sick of being aphasiac and feeling dulled
sick of the bruised eye and the scars where i rubbed the skin off of my face
sick of hoping it will go away
sick of having my life interrupted
sick of waking from a dream whith the beast so sickly entwined
sick of banging my head on the bedrail
sick of pity - self and others
sick of having my creativity and vitality sapped
sick of explaining
sick of complaining
sick of being strong
sick of pretending i'm being strong
sick of punching the wall
i dont want to be sick anymore
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E-Double
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
Are we ourselves?
  
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Posts: 6458
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Re: pure vent, skip if ya want
« Reply #1 on: Jan 20th, 2006, 11:56am » |
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I hear ya and know you are not alone!
Here are some tunes for ya 
http://media.putfile.com/JamesBorn-of-Frustration
http://media.putfile.com/Blind-Melon---Walk
How long has it been?
Meds?
Maybe time for an increase or a change!
Here if ya need.
Check profile if ya need to talk on messenger.
I'm around.
Hang in there!!!!
E
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I can't believe that I have to bang my
Head against this wall again
But the blows they have just a little more
Space in-between them
Gonna take a breath and try again.
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BarbaraD
CH.com Alumnus
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Hugs to ya
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Posts: 5164
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Re: pure vent, skip if ya want
« Reply #2 on: Jan 20th, 2006, 1:59pm » |
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someone told me, "Cheer up, things could get worse!" so I cheered up and sure nuff - things got worse! 
I think we all feel the way you just described. I know I do. Just hang in there - we're here for you and at least you're not alone - that's something a lot of us had to go thru for years until this MB was put up.
Go ahead and vent. We DO understand....
Hugs BD
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What don't kill ya, Makes ya stonger!
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Guiseppi
CH.com Alumnus
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Posts: 2703
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Re: pure vent, skip if ya want
« Reply #3 on: Jan 20th, 2006, 4:43pm » |
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Barb's right, this is where we come to cry, whine, vent, and unload. Our spouses try to understand, our co-workers just roll their eyes, but trust me, everyone here understands.
Guiseppi
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Why are all sensors, seeking intelligent life, pointed AWAY from earth?
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Phil the Desert Rat
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Re: pure vent, skip if ya want
« Reply #4 on: Jan 20th, 2006, 8:26pm » |
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Jezebel,
You nailed it for me. You're on common ground here with so many empathetic, sympathetic, insightful people. I'm sorry you're in hell right now, but try to keep foremost in your mind that this will run its course, you'll get to the PF side of this one, and then you'll be sharing words of comfort, understanding, support, and wisdom with me and all the others who happen to be in hell at that time. In a way, we're all in this together. Thankfully.
--Phil
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boonie
New Board Veteran
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Posts: 249
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Re: pure vent, skip if ya want
« Reply #5 on: Jan 20th, 2006, 10:40pm » |
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I know how you feel
you are not alone and you have said it well and your words go up on my wall of wisdom and insight
hang in there
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boonie
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Richr8
New Board Hall of Famer
It's all about today...
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You are not alone..
« Reply #6 on: Jan 21st, 2006, 1:44am » |
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... Jezebel.. We are all with you. I think in every way we share all of your fears and frustrations. I know that under this horrible spell, I am not the man I want my boys to see, and there is nothing I can do about it right now. I also know that it will pass, and I take peace in that. I also know what you mean about people and friends, so I try to save all of my stuff for here now. Whether it be just reading, sharing, or venting. There is no way I can expect anyone else to understand or bear this burden. It's just too much for any outsider, even the best of friends.
Just remember that all of the good stuff, is still there inside being preserved, and we'll be back!
Many hugs and wishes for PF moments.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
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pf wishes,
Rich
...because yesterday is history and you never know what tomorrow will bring.
"Med free"- A few seeds and lots of O2-LG but not great.
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sandie99
New Board Hall of Famer
Wish it, dream it, do it - inspite the pain!
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Re: pure vent, skip if ya want
« Reply #7 on: Jan 21st, 2006, 4:05am » |
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This is the place to vent about ch. Lots of things you wrote are familiar to me, too. I do hope relief from the beast as soon as possible. 
Wishes,
Sanna
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CH happends, Live anyway! PF days to us all!
"Do what you can and let God take care of the rest. Leave your heart wide open and always wish for the best" (Sanna Hillu)
"No matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible" (Marketa Irglova)
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boybath
New Board Newbie
I love YaBB 1G - SP1!
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Re: pure vent, skip if ya want
« Reply #8 on: Jan 25th, 2006, 4:31pm » |
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Hun I know where your coming from and it is Sh!t but painful or not the only way I get through is remember by gorgeous family and there are people dying in agony out there. Our pile of sh1t is a big one but theres always someone with a worse pile somewhere
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THANKYOU FOR WHAT I AM ABOUT TO RECEIVE .....
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Shaz
New Board Veteran
I love YaBB 1G - SP1!
Posts: 149
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Re: pure vent, skip if ya want
« Reply #9 on: Jan 31st, 2006, 11:41am » |
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Hi Jez
Understand every word that you wrote and like everyone here, have been there. Get so sick of it too but the one little light is everyone out here, being there too, being sick of it too. Just helps doesn't knowing your not alone.
Take care. Shaz 
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karrie35
New Board Newbie
I love YaBB 1G - SP1!
Posts: 28
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Re: pure vent, skip if ya want
« Reply #10 on: Jan 31st, 2006, 6:08pm » |
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I totally understand each and every line you wrote.
Amen sister!
May I add :
Sick of people who don't have a clue about Ch saying ignorant comments and
Sick of not blowing up at them.
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thebbz
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
Ow,Ow,Ow
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Posts: 2181
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Re: pure vent, skip if ya want
« Reply #11 on: Jan 31st, 2006, 7:55pm » |
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Sick of hearing: Oh my sister gets migraines. 
Hang in there. We're all sick with ya. So let's all get sick and row 
Hang in there if for nothing else to PI$$ off the demon.
jb
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It wasn't me I didn't do it
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djpaynesr
New Board Newbie
Hang in there :)
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Re: pure vent, skip if ya want
« Reply #12 on: Feb 9th, 2006, 9:21am » |
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It will get better.
I can't count the days that I suffered every few hours with the Beast. I begged for mercy, begged for numbness, thought about what life would be like with no pain and couldn't even imagine it. I don't know if mine have gotten any better or I've just gotten used to them but I've come to the conclusion that they will never go away.
We've all been there. If you're feeling some self pity GO AHEAD, we'll even help you throw the party, but DO NOT let the beast win. The dances with the Beast are temporary and will get better.
There is no having to justify or explain here. We have all been where you are and probably will be again.
Complain away. Just remember this when it's my turn. 
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We can survive this
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Dragnlance
New Board Hall of Famer
Monster bait
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Re: pure vent, skip if ya want
« Reply #13 on: Feb 9th, 2006, 2:10pm » |
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Hi Jez!
Welcome to the warmest place on EARTH. I can say that I have repeated that litteny most of my life. I add one last item.
I am SICK of this damn MONSTER IN MY HEAD!!
Remember, where there is life, the possiblities are Unlimited!
There is a light in this dark place, and you have stepped into it. The amount of knowledge and experience here, is unbelievable!
Everyone here can help, even if it is just a person to vent to. I keep thanking DJ for creating this place, all the people who make this place home, and whatever luck it was that brought me to this place.
Praying for your PF days and nights!!
Dragnlance
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