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Topic: Is the Beast a tease? (Read 311 times) |
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Eraserhead
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well... I'm starting week 2 of Cluster Hell 101. Still a newbie but I somehow feel like a veteran after this last week. I had an attack last night that lasted only about 15 minutes... the pain wasn't as intense as the previous hit a day or so earlier. It still brought me to tears but I didn't contemplate knocking myself out. Is it common for the hits to vary in intensity? I have these shadows during the day and I don't know what's worse... the actual attack or waiting every minute wondering when it will happen. I find myself just wanting it to hit just so it will be over with and I won't have to keep looking over my shoulder for it.
Matthew (aka Eraserhead)
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Lissa
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Re: Is the Beast a tease?
« Reply #1 on: Sep 30th, 2003, 9:29am » |
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All I can say is I know how you feel (the fear and the pain) and hang in there!
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Episodic cluster survivor since 1995 at age 16.
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Bob_Johnson
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Re: Is the Beast a tease?
« Reply #2 on: Sep 30th, 2003, 9:54am » |
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Yes--a tease. A common experience.
Sending you a private message on how to cope with the anxiety of waiting and looking for the next attack.
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Bob Johnson
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BruceD
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Re: Is the Beast a tease?
« Reply #3 on: Sep 30th, 2003, 10:35am » |
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Yes. The beast is a tease ... a taunt ... and it hits when you least expect it ... it confounds ... confuses ... disrupts ... destroys ... it is relentless ... obdurate … tenacious … and seemingly everywhere. The beast seems to know when you’re at your weakest … and strongest … and doggedly hits you everywhere in-between. It never lets its guard down, and just when you think you can predict when the next hit will occur the beast throws another curve ball. Sometimes it almost gets to the point where not getting hit is almost as bad as having a headache. When the thought of the next hit begins ruling your life … the beast has won.
What can we do? Fight back. Educate yourself. Arm yourself with oxygen, trex, meds, routines, remedies, and tricks. If something works for you now, keep doing it … but remember that whatever it is that is working … it’s not a cure, merely a remedy. Sometimes the remedy works for the long-term, and at other times may only give relief for a couple of months. Just remember, that you are not alone!
Remain optimistic. Live for the pain free moments. Enjoy life around you when you’re PF and don’t worry about the next hit. Try to get rested, lean on your supporter (online or otherwise) and enjoy life while you can. I know that this may sound trite, but that's the way I try to endure CH.
Take care
BruceD
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Childhood is short, maturity is forever. (The Indispensable Calvin and Hobbes)
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Charlie M
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Re: Is the Beast a tease?
« Reply #4 on: Sep 30th, 2003, 10:44am » |
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THE BEAST IS JUST WHAT IT IS. I WAS HAPPIER BEFORE I KNEW WHAT I HAD. WE JUST HAVE DO PLAY THE HAND GOD HAS GIVEN US TO THE BEST OF OUR ABILITY. THERE ARE TIMES WHEN I FELL, I COULD THINK MYSELF INTO A CH ATTACK. FEAR JUST SETS IN AND YOU HAVE NO CONTROL. BUT LIFE GOES ON, AND WE MUST ALSO.  . YOU ARE NOT ALONE. IF YOU HAVE COME THIS FAR YOU KNOW SOMEWHERE DEEP INSIDE THAT YOU CAN MAKE IT ANOTHER DAY. I'M GETTING MY O2 THIS AFTERNOON AND PLAYING IT WORKS . CHARLIE M
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IN ORDER TO ENJOY THE SUN WE HAVE TO EXPERENCE THE RAIN
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jminmilwaukee
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Re: Is the Beast a tease?
« Reply #5 on: Sep 30th, 2003, 10:49am » |
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Hmmmm.
Perhaps I am the unusual case here. When in a cycle, I get hit like clockwork. Hell, I can almost set my watch by it. Of course if I eat something (msg) or drink something I should not then I will get slammed off schedule.
My last cycle I treated with shrooms and no more clockwork hits. On the contrary, getting hit was more unusual then NOT getting hit.
Good luck.
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TxBasslady
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Re: Is the Beast a tease?
« Reply #6 on: Sep 30th, 2003, 10:54am » |
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Great post, Bruce..........and so true.
Doubt that anyone could have said it any better than that ! 
Hang in there, Matthew.......there may not be a cure or a solution, but one good thing is that someone is always here to help you thru the bad times. 
Good luck, sweetie.......and grab hold of these pf vibes coming your way....
Jean
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How lucky I am... to have known someone who was so hard to say goodbye too.
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Cerberus
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Re: Is the Beast a tease?
« Reply #7 on: Sep 30th, 2003, 12:31pm » |
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Eraserhead......
Oh yeah.......the beast is regularly drawing flags for taunting and unsportsman like conduct......I ain't benefitting from the penalties either......
PF ,
Ramon
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I would rather face the end with terror than terror without end. - (Deitrich Sawatsky 194?)
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Carl_D
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Re: Is the Beast a tease?
« Reply #8 on: Sep 30th, 2003, 4:14pm » |
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I agree with all of the above.
Seems like when you least expect it, BAM! You get hit with a CH at the most inopportune times. The most important thing is to find a coping mechanism. Mine lately has been writhing about on the floor, screaming obscenities, spewing green pea soup from my nostrils....oh wait, that was a Linda Blair coping mechanism. Sorry for the confusion.
Peace,
Carl D "FREEk"
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vig
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Re: Is the Beast a tease?
« Reply #9 on: Sep 30th, 2003, 4:24pm » |
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tease nothing, way too cute.
it's way more savage, brutal, and vicious (candy coated today)
more like a samurai warrior hiding in the bushes.
or almost like cato in the Pink Panther movies.
Inspector Clouseau always knows that he's about to get jumped!
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never, Never, NEVER quit. -Winston Churchill
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Kenzie60
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Re: Is the Beast a tease?
« Reply #10 on: Sep 30th, 2003, 4:27pm » |
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I think the worst part is knowing what is coming. When the first signs start. It makes you feel completely helpless. You can do nothing. Hang in there.
Roseanne
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stevegeebe
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Re: Is the Beast a tease?
« Reply #11 on: Sep 30th, 2003, 4:46pm » |
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Yep.
Steve G
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Charlie
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Re: Is the Beast a tease?
« Reply #12 on: Sep 30th, 2003, 5:26pm » |
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A tease......maybe but mine never varied in intensity. Every now and then though, it would pop up for a short time in the middle of summer as well as the usual spring and fall visits.
How much fun it is knowing that you can count on not getting enough sleep, or just enough so you can fully enjoy the next day's hits. 
Charlie
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There is nothing more satisfying than being shot at without result---Winston Churchill
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Turts
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Re: Is the Beast a tease?
« Reply #13 on: Oct 1st, 2003, 4:41am » |
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I have found that the intensity changes too, ( how accurate is the KIP scale!!!!) much like the HA the shadows change in intensity also. I can usually tell the intensity of the upcoming motion movie attraction by the intensity of its preview, if u know what I mean.
I used to enjoy suprises, now the suprise of the headache has killed that passion too.
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'I'm very brave generally,' he went on in a low voice: 'only today I happen to have a headache.' (Lewis Carroll)
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KingOfPain
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Re: Is the Beast a tease?
« Reply #14 on: Oct 1st, 2003, 7:24am » |
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on Sep 30th, 2003, 10:35am, BruceD wrote:Yes. The beast is a tease ... a taunt ... and it hits when you least expect it ... it confounds ... confuses ... disrupts ... destroys ... it is relentless ... obdurate … tenacious … and seemingly everywhere. The beast seems to know when you’re at your weakest … and strongest … and doggedly hits you everywhere in-between. It never lets its guard down, and just when you think you can predict when the next hit will occur the beast throws another curve ball. Sometimes it almost gets to the point where not getting hit is almost as bad as having a headache. When the thought of the next hit begins ruling your life … the beast has won.
What can we do? Fight back. Educate yourself. Arm yourself with oxygen, trex, meds, routines, remedies, and tricks. If something works for you now, keep doing it … but remember that whatever it is that is working … it’s not a cure, merely a remedy. Sometimes the remedy works for the long-term, and at other times may only give relief for a couple of months. Just remember, that you are not alone!
Remain optimistic. Live for the pain free moments. Enjoy life around you when you’re PF and don’t worry about the next hit. Try to get rested, lean on your supporter (online or otherwise) and enjoy life while you can. I know that this may sound trite, but that's the way I try to endure CH.
Take care
BruceD
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BruceD,
Excellent post/reply!
Thanks for being there for others.
KingOfPain
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Arrived August, 1999.
We swallow greedily any lie that flatters us, but we sip only little by little at a truth we find bitter.
- Denis Diderot
Real friendship is shown in times of trouble; prosperity is full of friends. - Euripides
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