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Topic: Why pay for Anger Management Classes (Read 290 times) |
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burnt-toast
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Why pay for Anger Management Classes
« on: Mar 2nd, 2006, 12:40pm » |
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After years of anger management a man realized he had made little progress despite spending a small fortune for classes. Sitting at his desk he remembered a phone call he had forgotten to return, found the number and dialed it. A man answered, "Hello."
He politely said, "Hi, this is Chris, can I please speak with Robyn Carter?" Suddenly a manic voice yelled "Get the right f'##kin number next time!" and the phone was slammed in his ear. He couldn't believe someone could be so rude but realized his anger often stemmed from dealing with such a$$holes on a regular basis. He verified the number, realized he had transposed the last two digits, and made his call.
After hanging up with his client, he decided to call the wrong number again.
When the guy answered the phone, he yelled "You're an a$$hole!" hung up,
wrote the number down - with the word 'a$$hole' next to it, and put it in his desk drawer.
Every few weeks, he’d call and yell, "You're an a$$hole!" and it always cheered him up. When Caller ID was introduced, he thought his therapeutic "a$$hole
calling" had to stop. After thinking about it he called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from Verizon. I'm calling to see if you're interested in our Caller ID
service" "NO! YOU IDIOT" was the response, and phone was slammed down. He quickly called back and yelled, "That's because you're an a$$hole!"
One day he waited to pull into parking spot when a guy in a black BMW cut him off and took the spot. He hit the horn and yelled, but was ignored. Then he noticed a "For Sale" sign in the back window BMW and wrote down the number.
A couple of days later following a call to the first a$$hole he thought about
calling BMW a$$hole. After changing his ID to private, he called.
"Do you have a black BMW for sale?” he asked. - "Yes, I do.”
"Can you tell me where I can see it?" he asked. - “Yes, I live at XY Mowbray Blvd, in Vaucluse, yellow house, and the car's parked out in front."
"What's your name?" He asked. - “Don… Don Hanson”.
"When's a good time to catch you, Don?" - "I'm home every evening after five."
”Thank you”, he said, “Can I tell you something Don?” - “Yes”.
“You’re an a$$hole” and then he hung up. Now he had a problem, he was calling two a$$holes and was afraid of being discovered but soon came up with an idea.
That evening He called a$$shole #1. - "Hello."
"You're an not a very nice person!" he yelled, but this time without hanging up.
"Are you still there?" came the response. - “Yeah.” He replied.
"Stop calling me," the man screamed. - "Make me." He replied.
"Who are you?" the man asked. - "Don… Don Hansen.” He said.
"I better never find out where you live Hansen." Came the reply.
"Look a$$hole, I live at XY Mowbray Blvd, Vaucluse, yellow house, black Beamer parked in front."
"I'm coming over right now, Hansen. you better say your prayers."
"Yeah, like I'm afraid of an a$$hole," he said as he hung up.
Then he called A$$hole #2. - "Hello?"
"Hello, a$$hole," he said. - "If I ever find out who you are..." responded Hansen.
"You'll what?" he interrupted. - "I'll kick your ass," was Hansen’s response.
"OK a$$hole, here's your chance. I'm coming over there right now."
He hung up and immediately called Channel 7 news. - “My name is Don Hansen. I
live at XY Mowbray Blvd, Vaucluse, I’m on my way home right now to kill my wife’s lover.” Then he called Channel 9 News about and informed them a gang war was about to go down on around XY Mowbray Blvd, Vaucluse.
He got into his car and headed over to Mowbray, getting there
just in time to watch a crowd gathering around two a$$holes beating the crap out of each other as a dozen police cars, swat team, police helicopter and two news crew arrived on the scene.
He hasn’t spent a dime for anger management classes since.
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Would the owner of the propane torch, egg beater, pipe expander and vise grips please claim these items. They're lodged in my head and I need the space.
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andrewjb
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when the love of power becomes the power of love !
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Re: Why pay for Anger Management Classes
« Reply #1 on: Mar 12th, 2006, 6:36pm » |
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